bachelorette, part 7.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012


well, it FINALLY got sort of fun and less yawn fest.  am i right?

they're in prague.  irish music plays.  if they do highland games in croatia... whatevs! says abc!  we do what we want!

date with arie.
+ eyewitness guide under her arm.  em's playin' the role of tour guide today.
+ today's buzzword is HOMETOWN.
+ i like her sparkly shorts though i'm not sure why everyone else is in winter garb while she's got shorts on?
+ arie's boring.  he has gone downhill for me.
+ NEWSFLASH: CHRIS HARRISON IN L.A. : ARIE WENT ON ONE DATE WITH A PRODUCER A MILLENIUM AGO
+ (can we all agree the hype about this whole issue was WAY more exciting than the actual issue?)
+ kind of funny when emily kept stressing: LOYALTY.  HONESTY.  TRUTH.  OPENNESS.  as all her fave qualities.  arie: "reflection of who i am//i agree//so honest//tell the truth//i wanna be more honest than honest//blah blah blah blah"
+ "my tattoo says CASSIE."  jk.
+ i still think it's weird he didn't mention it at least in passing.  yep, weird.  minus five for arie.
+ his hands caress the face/hair too much while kissing.  not into it.  minus 3 more.
+ "i feel like i'm on top of the world."  on top of a boat instead.  less cool.

date with john.
+ john is going golfing at a country club with that outfit.  not on a date in prague.
+ i'm calling him 'funeral-mass-card-john' from here on out because apparently a mass card scored him a lot of points even though it shouldn't have.
+ he's a 'data destruction specialist'????  kate's calling him a 'paper shredder.'
+ body language, meh.
+ a little snafu with the lock.  UH OH.  QUICK, LET US FIND HOW THIS IS ANALOGOUS TO OUR REAL LIFE RELATIONSHIP.

back at the hotel.
+ jef and ice age match.
+ ice age is going cray.

back to the date.
+ emily says, "right?!" a lot.  as in, "how beautiful is this castle?"  "RIGHT?!"
+ "i gotta lock up a hometown" -john.  whatever.
+ my brother in law went to bed at john's date and his last words muttered: "this is incredibly boring."
+ his ex "cheated with doctor dude"-- doctor dude?
+ i do like the way john talked about his family.  don't see 'em together though.

back at hotel.
+ chris still losing his mind.
+ sean is going to find one person in the city of prague by yelling her name?  right, abc.  i think you helped with this one.
+ (em is smitten with sean)

commercial break: ice age commercial--how apropos!

group date.
+ doug hasn't said dad yet!
+ amazing castle... blah blah blah... MY SON WOULD LOVE THIS.
+ legs touching is a problem??  i'm actually feeling badly for doug now.  this isn't going well.
+ a peck you'd give your grandmom.  doug, you should've SWEPT HER OFF HER FEET with that one.  instead, "thanks for that."  "yep."  and she just kept right on going with letting you go.  so awkward.
+ i feel sad for doug the dad.
+ chris: "i'm not intimidated by sean at all."  RIGHT.  and i'm a lamp.
+ i am soooooooooo not digging chris at all.  he's like a kid in love with an idol.  it's an obsession with emily.
+ chris is scared for people around him if he doesn't get a rose.  oh this is rich.  and then he cries.

date with jef.
+ puppet thing is kind of stupid (what is abc's obsession with bringing little kid stuff into this show?  muppets, pixar... this is a show for ADULTS.  ricki is probably not watching so STOP CATERING TO HER).  nevertheless... jef is good at the michael jackson puppet.
+ i also like how the date card read something about 'pulling on the heartstrings' but they're all surprised, "oh?!  a puppet shop!  maybe we should go in here?  this is totally random and unexpected!" mmhmm.
+ bought a gift for ricki!  plus ten!
+ i like that jef is actually asking real questions--living together, how soon for kids...
+ "i wanna date you so hard and marry the %#*&% out of you.  that was funny.
+ jef's my fave date so far.

cocktail party.
+ CHRIS'S MIND IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE INTO A MILLION TINY LITTLE PIECES.
+ emily looks like miss america.  it ain't good (anyone miss the forever 21 emily of brad's season?).
+ mass-card-john is gloating.
+ chris still losing his mind.
+ sean is nice and isn't gloating (i do like sean.).
+ chris has the weirdest head movements ever.
+ arie: "oh man this is intense."  spoken like a MAN WITH A ROSE ALREADY.
+ annnnd mass-card-john is gone once chris tells her "I BELIEVE IN YOU AND ME."

thoughts?

ice age totally freaks me out and will definitely construct an emily shrine in his bedroom after he goes home (which will be next week).  arie is meh.  sean is really nice and jef is funny.  the last two are my picks.

29 comments:

  1. Daddy Doug's kiss-and-let-go was the pinnacle of fantastic TV awkward. That was my favorite part of the episode.

    I get bored just hearing John's name, I am glad she finally cut his ties. Especially after he bragged that he was definitely get a home date. Not after you couldn't shut the lock on the first try, dude.

    I think I am smitten with Sean after all that sweetness. I liked how he was just like "I missed you" and not "Oh wow, this is so hard seeing you go on dates, blah blah." And maybe smitten Jef too, although E+J don't seem to go together in the long run.

    Arie now gives me the creepy creeps. He is too touchy and eat-your-face when he kisses.

    And Chris? Not even work talking about. He is too spastic.

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  2. Daddy aid I regret kissing you then. hahaha. that was a kiss?

    and ice age...I thought his head was gonna pop off or his eyes come out of his head. bless him.

    my recap is at Morrisonlane.blogspot.com

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  3. totally loved her and sean together. adorable..she def seemed smitten.

    i know jef seems so young, but i really loved his real questions. i think they're cute!

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  4. About time the show got entertaining! I felt bad for Doug, his ending was messy and sad and she should have cut him loose the week before instead of 10 minutes into this week's group date.
    As for Arie, I actually read some of that reality Steve stuff a few weeks ago, it made him sound like a big player. I still think he's hot, but he's needs to man it up a bit.
    Jef gained about a million points for me with the crazy puppet tricks and the hard questions convo, about time! I was disappointed we didn't see much more of their date though! Puppets and a random libs? I looooved that last line though about dating her. Hot.
    Sean running the streets of Prague yelling Emily...really ABC? I love Sean anyways. And Jef. Can we combine them?
    I.A. is nuts, I wanted her to send both him and John home. He's nuts. I have no words...nuts.

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  5. you know i have been waiting for this all day.

    "i like her sparkly shorts though i'm not sure why everyone else is in winter garb while she's got shorts on?" -- thought the same thing!

    okay, yes -- they hyped up this stupid producer storyline SO much only for it to become the MOST anti climatic "scandal" in bach. history.

    did you know that a lot of bloggers (like, reality steve-ish bloggers) call chris "UGB", for "ugly gerard butler"? did i tell you that last week? with that said, UGB is a FREAK.

    yeah, the name-yelling through the streets of prague was a BIT much. and then she's just standing by herself in an alley? wtf? but you're right, she looooooves him.

    doug's goodbye? most awkward scene ever. that kiss! no, no, no.

    i laughed out loud when jef (and his puppet) said: "i like your nail polish" and emily's automatic response was "thanks i'm never gonna change it".

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  6. The puppet thing was so weird.

    And then they lay on the floor and talk about how they want babies yesterday. He is all "I can't wait to be the fun Dad"

    Read between the lines Emily- this means he can't wait to do all the fun stuff while you take care of everything else.

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  7. Haha once again I love your thoughts.

    Sean is so nice and I think him and Emily would be great together. And I love Jef too. Though it kind of creeps me out to see them together cause I keep thinking that he looks like her little brother. But I was happy to see him ask real questions.

    The scene with Doug getting dumped was the only time I actually liked him. I just felt so bad.

    And Chris is a weirdo. That is all.

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  8. The puppet thing cracked me up. Especially the MJ one. I like that Jef seems mature. But also fun.

    I like Sean a lot. I mean, I really wanted to be pushed up against that wall with him.

    My favorites are Sean and Jef. Then Arie. I want to know why Sean was running after the vehicle in next weeks clip...

    Chris needs to go back to the Ice Age! Fo' sho!

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  9. I love that you do this. It's hilarious and all 100% true. Here are my thoughts.

    -If Arie and Cassie lived together and he got her name tattooed on him how is that a “brief” relationship Chris Harrison?
    -John’s outfit was beyond awful, why did he even pack that?
    -data destruction specialist = those guys who drive around and pick up the shredding boxes from companies
    -ABC got super cheesy this week. Chris Harrison's PSA was too much for me. "Hi I'm Chris Harrison." Who watching this show doesn't know that? And Sean running through the streets....come on!

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  10. Ice Age Chris is a total bobblehead and has some serious mental issues. I feel bad that Emily has to enter his home. Ick. I like Emily but why does every single dress have to sparkle? Rhinestones much?

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  11. Okay Chris was scary almost this week. Cussing like that about not getting a rose? Saying people need to be afraid of being around him if he doesn't get a rose? Not someone I would want to raise kids with. . .

    And I can't wait to see how they portray Salt Lake next week on Jef's home town. I bet I'm in one of the shots and I just didn't know it. . .

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  12. Funny.
    I really enjoyed this episode. I still can't handle Arie. Too womenly still. And Jef, I liked the puppet thing, I thought he was really funny and cute this date. He reminded me lots of this friend I have. And Sean, I still hope he wins. There is no way that Chris wasn't intimidated by him. . . . But I would say Jef's date was my favorite. They were cute.
    (Oh, and Doug the dad, I felt awkward for him. I don't see how some people just don't catch on to clues!) :)

    Thanks for your Bachelorette recap.

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  13. OH MY WORD, I'm dying over here. "Dhris: "i'm not intimidated by sean at all." RIGHT. and i'm a lamp."

    Still dying. Can barely type this comment. *dissolves into another fit of laughter*

    LOVING these recaps. I'm totally Team Jef. :)

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  14. Hahahaha "Ice Age" is the best name ever for him. And he freaks me out too. A lot. This isn't about her... it's about him winning, which is lame and scary. LOVE these recaps of yours!

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  15. Chris has GOT TO GO. I want the final dude to be Jef but I'm thinking it might be Sean. Oh, also, Wolfie is totally a paper shredder. So long, Wolfie!

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  16. ha! This is too good, B.

    Oh to be all together on Candis' couch watching Em in her pageant makeup & glittered outfits break hearts every week.

    I bet even Little Ricki is like, Cut the Disney shiz. Dumb.

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  17. My top three are Sean, Jef and Arie. I seriously died with Jef's date. I thought it was so cute and romantic, and his last line was hot! I really think Sean is gonna be the last guy standing but we'll see.

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  18. I just spent the last 2 hours reading your love story and blog. One of my best friends just married a guy with 4 kids so someone mentioned your blog, so of course I had to read it. I LOVE your story and you are an amazing person. I love the way you write and your take on things. Very excited about keeping up on your blog!

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  19. Ok ok, this whole time I've been like, Jef with one f, what is that? But he won me over this week. Having to play with puppets could have been way more awk & creep-o but he made it semi-endearing. Sean is still my #1. Arie keeps slipping for me. And Chris, just.... poor Chris.

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  20. am i the only one who liked the puppet thing? i laughed. not proud of it. but i think jef is funny. he scored major points for me on their date. i still have a hard time getting past how young he looks though, it totally throws me off. but i like him.

    i love sean. i do.

    ice age leemur man scares me. his lack of lip and twitches make me nervous.

    the thing with arie..so dramatic for no reason. was over it.

    hated her cocktail outfit with a passion. yikes.

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  21. oh, and i cant leave here with out stating the horrific second hand awkward i felt with doug the dads final kiss. holy awful. poor DD

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  22. so much to say. but most of all, i want to say how disappointed i am in emily's wardrobe this season. i too miss forever 21 emily. i'm just not impressed at all, mostly embarrassed! and the shorts in that episode... i am confused. everyone is literally in parkas and woold scarves... and she's in shorts.

    and chris, omg he is going to need to go to em rehab after next week! jb is loving the ice age reference.

    i am really torn now. between arie and jef. but i think it's gonna be jef now... so she can have babies "yesterday"

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  23. There is just something about Emily I cannot get past. I can't read her at all. I don't know if you watched Lost where anyone could die, at any time during the episode- it feels like watching that because I honestly cannot tell who she is going to just drop and send home.

    She is cut throat at times and really rides the guys all the time. No one can be to real because they are too afraid they may make her mad and she will send them home! I don't dislike her but I think she has been really hurt in the past.

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  24. I heard through the grapevine that Arie was told BY producers not to mention anything ABOUT the producer to stir up some drama (typical, right?). I guess that makes sense, why Emily was all of the sudden beyond cool about it and apologizing to HIM for the whole "miscommunication". Oh, ABC...

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  25. Doug was just lonely I think. He didn't necessarily want Emily, but a mother for his son. That kiss was so awkward. Reminded me of my junior prom date....
    WHO started that sneaking out thing that Sean did? Was Arie the first one to do it?

    Sean- I think she just thinks he's hot
    Jef- I think she just thinks he's fun.
    Arie- isn't it alway the one you just can't stop kissing? My money is on Arie :) Notice, she never says Arie's name first at the rose ceremonies.

    Side note: When you're not on a date with Emily, do you just sit around the hotel suite?! I would SOOO be out exploring!

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  26. and "date you so hard and marry the F out of you" was so hot. I loved it!

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  27. Finally watched last night, and was def not surprised at the final 4.

    Chris scares the begeebees out of me. His red from crying eyes, just looked like scary eyes. I feel like he's a bit of a loose cannon / kinda immature.

    And I actually felt more awkward on Arie's date than I did for Doug the Dad. Not a fan.

    Jef and Sean are still my picks. Loved Jef on his date, such a cutie. And Sean is such a sweetheart, totally less boring after he snuck out to see her.

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  28. I can't wait to monday family dates.

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