some thoughts: parenting, insecurities, and clean slates.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


so, when my blog has a few too many days of sweet pictures of the love coasting its way through the hunt house, i think, "time for a serious post?"  truth be told, there's always an opportunity for one... a serious post, i mean.  always something requiring work in my life (i mean, work on my character, ya know what i'm saying?).  some dusty place that need shining and shaping up.  ah, life.  such a bitch sometimes, eh?

right now?  it's patience with lindsey.  oh my, is it ever.  she's all drama these days.  throwing her jacket down in disgust because she has a dentist appointment she didn't anticipate (and it is your fault!), giving you 'tude because, well, she's a girl and she can, dammit!  she's the girl who you ask to brush her teeth and she floats around the house dreaming and reading old diaries and making up rules for a imaginary club and drawing a picture and, you get the picture.  three hours later you check back in for the fourth time, "did you brush your teeth?" only to discover the answer is no.  as the mom who's needing to remember to check back in and make sure this or that has been completed, it's not so fun.  i know this isn't unique to lindsey, any of it, really.  in fact, i was a bit of a dreamer myself (which my mom likes to remind me of!  bless her!) and i'm sure it drove my mom crazy (correction: it did drive my mom crazy).  in fact, i remember pretty much every single sunday running out the door to my family nearly pulling out of the driveway as they drove to church yelling, "wait!"  always late.  i was always late.  so quickly i forget these things and expect so much of these little people.  they deserve my respect and my patience, just as i hope for theirs.  too often do i hold them responsible for their past transgressions, letting my anger get the better of me on a wednesday because of what happened on a monday and tuesday.  a clean slate.  we all deserve one, right?  the answer is clear.  a resounding yes, and that includes lindsey.  that one trying my patience these days!

my insecurities.  a lot of you have asked about what they were and what they are.  i presume you're looking for some commonplace between you and i... a place of insecurity in your life that i might also struggle with?  i'm sure we'd find it.  commonplace.  insecurities are real and they are nagging, aren't they?  my insecurities have changed with time.  from filling another woman's shoes to loving my children truly as my own, they have shifted through the years.  lately it's more the latter.  well no.  i know how deep my love for them goes and it's deep.  what i worry about is what you think.  the audience, you guys (yes, you!), thinking i love parker more.  i worry i'm putting too much on my blog/instagram/etc. about parker--parker's new toy, parker's latest food, parker this and parker that.  he's the newest baby in the house and i think he'd be dominating the blog whether each hunt was truly mine or not.  but, my step-mom fears get the better of me.  i find myself checking in with steve, "too many posts with parker?"  his answer is always no, knowing full well (i think!) that shannon would have done the same with her newest baby... after all, with babies, everything is a first!  everything seems worthy of recording and photographing and keepsaking and then, of course, sharing.  but, truth be told, there it is, all the while.  the little nagging insecurity.  what will they think... opening my blog to another post featuring parker?  i wonder if you're feeling badly for those other young ones in my home.  and, if you are, i can assure you: they are being well-loved and cared for too.

so, i realize this was a bit rambling.  but, these things have been on my mind and instead of thinking about them in the wee hours of the morning, i wanted to write them down, flesh them out, and hit 'publish post.'  there they are and thanks for reading.

52 comments:

  1. I can totally relate. 100%. I love my children with every breath inside of me, but sometimes I do wonder how my (step)kids feel when my blog features so much of Ethan (our baby) and less of them.

    I don't worry too much about what the blog readers think anymore - mostly because I've found there are always going to be people who raise their (negative and unwanted) opinions and I have to take them with a grain of salt and let them roll off of my back. I know what goes on in my home. I know how much I love ALL of my kids. I know how phenomenal I think my husband is. But I, too, know and understand those insecurities.

    Thanks for the honesty! :)

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  2. What a great post! As a huge fan of your blog, I can say I never once had the thought that any of your cutie kids weren't well represented. To be honest, I love your blog because it's about you and your perception on young motherhood. You're an amazing mama and it comes through with all your posts. {btw- i was a bit of a dreamer as well and now feel like i should phone my mum and tell her thanks for all the reminders that kept my teeth brushed, room tidy, and her general patience overall:)}

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  3. I read your 'ramblings' with pleasure. I've been checking your blog for a few months now and there are so many reasons to come back everytime. Well, you're funny, Parker is beyond adorable, your family is gorgeous and so on ;-)

    But the most important to me: you're real, you don't pretend to be this superwoman, even if we believe you must be with all your kids ;-)

    And you're a great mom. I can't imagine doing what you do on that age, I can't even imagine doing it now. Even if you don't talk about the others all the time, we all know how much you love them. And if you do talk about them, the love pours out from your words.

    And we don't mind another Parker post, the kid is just a cutie pie and I love seeing him with his siblings. Cause then you see how much they love him, how could they not?

    And I can totally relate with the patience thing, my daughter is only two but sounds like lindsey LOL all drama, a big dreamer and very strong-willed in our case, maybe it's a girl's disease that comes back once in a while?

    My apologies for the long comment, maybe I should send you a mail next time?

    Love from Belgium

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  4. That did not cross my mind. Parker is beautiful and so is your story :)

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  5. I'll tell you what I think, since you asked.

    Oh you didn't?

    Well, I'll tell you anyway.

    Even before I knew "knew" you (in case you were going to write me off as being nice because I know "know" you), I always thought, "I can't believe Bridget is able to work those pre-teens and teens into her blog as much as she does!"

    Pinning them down for a picture (hello, Jordan) is like trying to put a cat in a bath. So there's that. But it seems like to me that you are ALWAYS mentioning them. In a good way.

    Parker shows up more in pictures because he's there with you all day! Of course.

    I imagine it's a little like why Mike isn't all over my blog. He'd break my camera if I got too close to him with it.

    You like how I just compared Mike to your teenagers?

    In more ways than one, my dear, in more ways than one.

    Not that you need my reassurance, but now you know what was in my head.

    Love to you and the rest of those Hunts!

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  7. All five of your kids are truly lucky to have you. The readers who have been following you for a while know you love them all.

    There was Lindsay's rainbow birthday cake, the slip 'n slide day, the post of the four older kids with Shannon that Nathaniel thanked you for, the many family camping trips and time spent at the lake that all of you enjoyed together. The breakfasts in bed for each kid, to celebrate their own special day. And so many more...

    So Bridget, it is evident that you love your children, all five of them with an incredible heart.

    I know, so I know you love them, but I am certain that most of your readers see it too!

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  8. Your home looks to be so full of love - coming from a family with four children (I am the second), I think it's only natural that certain children get more attention at different times. But feeling bad for your older children? Never. Your love for them is clear.

    Plus, babies are sometimes more willing to be photographed/posted about than teenagers... :)

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  9. I think you have a good balance with your blogging but we're all probe to hype what is new...because it's new. Plus, as a step parent you may not have experienced each little nuance with the other children so these experiences are foreign and exciting to you. I'm sure the love is all around. Maybe a post on each child's new relationship with Parker. Ha ha, a new angle... or perhaps not.

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  10. I think it's only natural that the new one always gets more posts....plus he's so dang cute! I think as a blogger most people want to see pictures of babies and hear about the new stage in your life. As long as you're honest I think you'll always have someone reading :-)

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  11. I think it is obvious to everyone who reads this blog that you love all those children equally--Parker is just there with you all the time and he is doing things for the first time so its natural for him to feature on the blog a bit more.

    And I dread to think what my patience will be like when/if I become a mum, I am the least patient person ever, my poor future children ;)

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  12. I really, really like this post Bridgette!

    I know I will struggle with patience when I'm a mom. I will struggle with letting go of what I want them to do & letting them do what they want to do. (Not that you struggle with that, I just KNOW I will.)

    And the thing is, every mom struggles. No mom is perfect, ever.

    One thing you didn't mention is that while yes, these are Parker's firsts ... they are also your firsts. Your first time being a mom to a baby. And it's okay to celebrate those things!

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  13. i don't think any of us had any doubts you love all the kids equally.
    it shows.

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  14. I was the worst tween/early teen ever. Tears because my hair looked like crap, tears because I didn't have boobs yet when some of my friends did, tears because my mom cooked breakfast "wrong." Hello drama queen.

    Just embrace it for what it is and remember in ten years she'll be thanking you.

    P.s. I've been reading your blahg for several years and never once thought.. "she loves Parker more." Besides, everyone loves babies.

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  15. Bridget, I have been reading for a few months as well and never commented. I must say though that your blog captures me each and every day because you are real and honest and from what I can tell, genuine. I admire you and your stories and you are like a breath of fresh air. I look forward to reading your posts. I think you write about each child and it does not appear to the outside as if you are preferential towards any of them. Thanks for sharing your struggles, your joys and your musings with the outside. Keep up the great work! you are an admirable mother. :)

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  16. What I like most about your blog is your honesty, and this post nails it! I always wonder what it would be like to step in and parent four children when you were MY age. You've done it with grace and a killer sense of style, and these new Parker posts just illustrate how much more love you have to give to your family: all of you! So, #winning.

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  17. Bridget,
    I love your blog. I commented once before and you may have felt that I was judging you too harshly, but I was coming from a place where I was going thru a divorce, single mom of five, sixteen years of marriage down the drain, husband moved another woman and her kid in four months after we left, and my heart was aching for my kids who felt like strangers in their own home. You're doing an amazing job and you are bad ass:) Especially for taking on so much at such a young age. Keep on doing what your doing!

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  18. And this is why you have the best, most real blog on the internet. Love you friend.

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  19. I agree with a few of the women above. It's not about focusing on the new one. It's it more about him being the youngest and not escaping the camera. It use to be the youngest had no photos because we didn't have the time. Now the youngest is the blog post when we realize it is 6pm in the day and we haven't captured the rest of the days events, just the youngest doing something cute. You're doing a fab job!

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  20. Bridget,
    Such a wonderful honest post (again!)...
    I have 3 children of my own and have been accused (if you can believe it) of loving Ava (my youngest) "more". Of posting more pics on the blog or on fb. Of updating my status with tales of her etc.
    Je.sus it is only because she is the youngest. I assure you each of the kids had this much attention when they were "the baby". It's only natural.
    You're a great mama. Don't ever doubt that. Ever.

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  22. First and foremost, a mommy rockin' yellow tights... I'm impressed! Secondly, as an FYI.. I've never once wondered about your preference for one child over the other. Put your mind at ease!

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  23. You're so honest. I love that. You seem like such an increible mom. Each and every one of your kids is lucky to have you :)

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  24. I think your blog has always oozed love for your whole family. And the older kids CLEARLY adore Parker as much as their parents do. Hello! How could you not? I don't have a big kid like Lindsey but I recall my sister being at tough ages and reminding my mom that she'd get better. She did and she is awesome.

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  25. never enough parker!!! :)

    seriously, i never even wondered who you loved- thea fact is that he is the baby and he's changing every single day. the other kids? well, they're gonna be in the same routine of school and friends not brushing their teeth for a while (though hopefully the latter ends soon :). there's always something new with baby parker and that's exciting for all of us to see. your step kids included :)

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  26. Bridget,
    While I can't speak to the whole step mothering thing, I can speak to the putting up a lot of new baby posts.
    My 4th is 9 months old, and you are right, all his firsts are HIS firsts and we celebrate them.
    A lot.
    But he doesn't have all the new clothes that my first born had.
    In fact, he wears almost all hand me downs.
    And a lot of pictures he is wearing pajamas because if we don't go anywhere that day, I just never get around to dressing him.
    I haven't remembered to take pictures of him at each month like I did with my first and second.
    My 3rd still gets jealous when I sit down to nurse my 4th.
    The thing is, somebody is always getting more of something or less of something: attention, clothes, cuddles, new toys, pictures, scrapbooks, blog posts...
    I worry about it too sometimes.
    I worry they'll look back at my blog (is that totally self absorbed to think they'll look at this blog? I hope they will) and say, why are there so many posts about__________ and way less about me?
    But in the meantime, keep right on celebrating Parker.
    Because he is the newest and the whole family adores him.
    Just like our whole family adores our Davy.
    His every new feat is a wonder for us.
    And Parker is for you.
    Enjoy it!
    Love from,
    Greta

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  27. I think you are amazing, and a wonderful mom to all of your kids! I'm 22, and I can't imagine becoming a mom to 4 kids, not babies, right now. Props to you! You are amazing, and it is so apparent that you have so much love in your heart, and in your life.

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  28. I think you do a great job of including your stepchildren. Naturally, Parker is going to take center stage. I have three of my own, and there are definitely more posts about the baby!
    I have to say, I understand the frustrations you may have with your stepdaughter. My daughter is 5, and her mood swings are so hard to deal with after having a calm, level-headed boy! I feel some relief after reading what you wrote, and knowing that it's normal!

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  29. I was just thinking how hard it must be for a new mother, any new mother, to be surrounded by more experienced mothers. And then to have a blog on top of that? Whew! I break out into a cold sweat just thinking of that. But I think you've done great with handling the pressures.
    I'd never once ever thought you favored Parker over any other child. He's a baby with so many firsts- they naturally get the attention that comes with it. There is always a great amount of love shown throughout the entire Hunt home.

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  30. I agree 100% with the idea that she would probably be doing the same thing. Babies are always new and exciting, and they always take up a lot of attention :) You are a GREAT mom! It is always evident!

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  31. Your love for ALL the children shines through. You tell us that Nathanial is a tall, smart and responsible college boy. That Jordan is an athletic and active teenager with a job. That William is a loving and adoring big brother who dreams of building a Lego kingdom. That Lindsey is a dreamy, creative, independent girl who want to live on a farm (awesome). AND we all know that the age gap between those 4 and Parker means that they won't get blogged about all the time because it's harder to get photos of them and it's more intrusive to their lives to spill all their gory details for the world to read. We know! And we love you and your family! And we all think you are 100% amazing for the mothering job you do to all 5 of them every day.

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  32. Oh yes, I can relate. I gave birth to all four of my children- the first three boys, then a girl. I got an anonymous comment other day (of course it was anon!) about how my daughter is always dressed better than my boys. I thought about it a lot (and even bought my son a new shirt! ha!), but she's two and they're old enough to pick their own clothes. I don't love her more if I shop for her more, in the same way you don't favor Parker if you post about him more (I post more about my daughter more, she's easier to take pictures of and she's not at an age where I'm sensitive I'm talking about her too much).

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  33. You're a strong lady, you know that? So strong. I can only hope to have half of your strength some day.

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  34. i read this early this morning and wanted to comment right away... but alas... it's after 5:00 pm now!

    you're such a rad mama, friend... and a rad human... and i totally admire you lots.

    xx

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  35. I was surprised about your post about Lindsey. How she's being difficult at times. I was thinking back to your vlog that Lindsey was in..she seems so sweet! But I know she is, and it's just how kids can be. I know what that's like! I may not be a Mom, but I'm a Nanny, and I have had many moments dealing with kids like that! I always have to work on my patience. I feel bad when I lose my temper from time to time.
    I'm surprised you're worried about what we, as readers, think about your posts about Parker! I myself have never thought about you loving Parker more. I mean, he's a cute little baby! How can you resist posting about him?
    But it's sweet that you care about your readers, even though you should do whatever you feel you want to do with your blog.

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  36. Oh Bridget, for what it's worth, we don't think you love Parker any more than the others just because he's the Blog Star - like Steve said, anyone would do the same with a new baby (especially one as studly as Parker... I mean come ON!)! You are amazing and doing something not many women our age are capable of doing: opening your heart and your life to an entire family of children not originally your own, but entrusted to your love and therefore entirely yours in a very special way.

    A serious standing ovation to you girl! For real.

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  37. After reading your post I had to pause for a moment....because in that instant I did not understand what you are on about!! I had forgotten that you are not the birth mother to all the kids!!!

    It may sound silly but I think that the fact that I had forgotten is the point!! You always write about all the kids and yeah so Parker features a little more...he is a baby he cant run away from his mamma and her camera!!!!

    What you have been blessed to take on is remarkable and I admire how much care and love you put into your family.

    You are a very special women and an amazing mother and you so have nothing to worry about because, we your readers keep coming back because you keep it real!!!

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  38. I think Sara C. above said it very well! The age difference is just a whole different thing in the blog world. Teens and pre-teens might not even appreciate having personal stories of their lives told, pictures shared, etc. while your little baby boy is with you 24/7, a brand-new addition to the family and what mom doesn't take tons of pictures of their little chunky baby before he starts saying "no mom! not another picture!" You gotta cherish this time while you can! :-)

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  39. New babies ALWAYS get more time, pictures, ooos and ahhhs. Hello, they change so much in such a short time and everything is so new and cute and fun. Not that our olders aren't awesome too, cause they really, really are, but you know. And anyone who would think otherwise, doesn't have a new one.

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  40. Something tells me that every member of that awesome Hunt family is all about Parker, not just you. He is a sweet little soul and you can't help but heap attention and love on someone like him.

    :)

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  41. I love how honest you are on your posts! That is probably why I check it constantly to see if their new posts. Babies always get the most attention and Parker is the cutest ever!

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  42. Wow I can't believe that you even feel like you have to explain yourself! The only thing I think about you is that you are fabulous and I have totally respect for you. It is so obvious you are an amazing mum to ALL your children. Of course Parker is going to get a bit more blog time. You are with him 24/7 and babies are meant to get more attention! Pleeease don't cut down on your Parker posts cause his little face brightens my day.

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  43. Great post Bridget! You're an awesome mom to all your kids. I love these heartfelt feelings you are daring to put out there to the world.

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  44. I was once the girl lost in imagination. I would talk to myself in the backseat of the car for hours, I would play in my room, not to be bothered. I would become so lost in imagination that I often had a hard time deciding if things had happened in real life, or in my head. I remember that I once convinced my parents to take me to school on a Saturday because I had a field trip to take. Except when we arrived at school, there was no one to be seen...

    It is the gift of childhood, isn't it? So hard for mamas to remember when there are so many things that need to get done in a day.

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  45. Thank you for this post! My full-time stepdaughter just turned 5 (though sometimes I swear she is 16!) and the drama has come on full-blast. She is such a good kid but, man, do little ones (and bigger ones) know how to push boundaries! She has a mother--albeit an uninvolved one--so sometimes I feel the pressure to replace her, or at least replace the shoddy job she's done so far.

    And then, my husband and I are planning to start growing our family this summer. Which means not only our first baby, but my first. I fear that I will feel the same things that you are--will I love SD as much as my own, will people think I love new baby more or different, etc.? I'm sure it's all natural but challenging nonetheless.

    I love reading about your experiences with motherhood and all your lovely kiddos. Posts like these are great in that they remind us all that we're human--even those of us who seem like they have it all under control every second of the day.

    All the best to you and your fam,
    B
    www.thentherewaswe.blogspot.com

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  46. I just got back from a trip & was catching up on some blog reading. This post is so precious. Such sweet thoughts & beautiful words. I'm sure you heard it in the other comments but it is very evident you love all those kiddos like they're your own. And we all understand the need to capture every flinch the new babe makes so no worries there! Thank you for sharing!

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  47. I just got back from a trip & was catching up on some blog reading. This post is so precious. Such sweet thoughts & beautiful words. I'm sure you heard it in the other comments but it is very evident you love all those kiddos like they're your own. And we all understand the need to capture every flinch the new babe makes so no worries there! Thank you for sharing!

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  48. I just got back from a trip & was catching up on some blog reading. This post is so precious. Such sweet thoughts & beautiful words. I'm sure you heard it in the other comments but it is very evident you love all those kiddos like they're your own. And we all understand the need to capture every flinch the new babe makes so no worries there! Thank you for sharing!

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  49. I just got back from a trip & was catching up on some blog reading. This post is so precious. Such sweet thoughts & beautiful words. I'm sure you heard it in the other comments but it is very evident you love all those kiddos like they're your own. And we all understand the need to capture every flinch the new babe makes so no worries there! Thank you for sharing!

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  50. I am so glad when I read that other kids are not different than my son. :) Yes, almost the same scenario you described I have with my son, who will be 10 this year.

    Apropos pictures...Generally, I think we parents should not put pictures of our kids on the internet. I know 99% of you would not agree with me, but that is my opinion, and there are some reasons for that.:)

    Sandy

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  51. You're fantastic, and this post was fantastic. Again, props for being honest and sharing yourself. We think you're great!

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  52. The newest child is always talked about, photographed, and blogged about more no matter what. So don't you worry one bit.

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talk to me.

(also! if you have a question, check back as i usually answer it here!)

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