Kids. They are crazy.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

You can routinely find me scratching my head with a look of, "Whaaaaaa??!?" on my face.  Sometimes, simultaneously, Steve can be found underneath the kitchen table shaking and banging his head against one of the table legs.  Why do we do this?  Kids.  They say (and do) the darndest things.  Darndest things, indeed!  I could think of some other words for it.  I'll refrain.

Have you ever seen the Bill Cosby skit (the Himself one)?  No?  If not, give this a watch.  It's seven minutes, sure.  But it is our life.  Almost 24 hours of the day.  So, you can handle seven minutes.

Did you get through it?  Some of you are probably thinking: It's so true.  How'd he get it so spot-on?  That Bill Cosby... he's a genius.  Right???  I mean, talking to the ceilings!  Having one kid take up residence as "the Informer" (that's William in our home).  Steve and I laugh our heads off as we watch his whole skit and look at each other like, "YES.  YES!  YES!!!  This is so true!"  So, while our household can feel anything but normal, apparently it is quite normal.

I thought I'd share some of the recent crazies with you.  The ones that have us scratching our heads and banging them against table legs.

Lindsey's backpack is full to the brim.  Which is saying quite a lot because the backpack is about as big as she is.  She sneakily puts it away in the coat closet so I rarely get to actually peek inside but when I do the backpack looks at me sadly as if to say, "I am so heavy.  Please ask her to clean me out."  No rhyme, no reason, just papers haphazardly stuffed inside any which way.  At her recent parent-teacher conference her teacher actually said, referring to Lindsey's desk and backpack mess, "I have never seen the likes of it in all my teaching days."  So, when I do see this mess, I demand that she clean it.  Then, she'll hand me the papers that were sent home with her intended for parents.  It's a great little routine we've got going.  Some of these papers are timely, as you can imagine.  It's December.  The paper reads: "September 15, 2011.  Someone in your child's class was sent home with a serious case of head lice.  This is no ordinary head lice.  It is a special breed: one that actually feasts on your child's skin and burrows their way deep into their brains.  Please check your child routinely and, if a girl, have them wear their hair up."  Two months too late.  Thanks, Lindsey!

Nathaniel comes home from college from time to time.  He never ceases to bring his laptop with him.  Cause here, at the Hunt house, there are time limits on our home computer.  On his own HP, no such thing!  The big college student can waste his day away playing on his very own computer while his siblings look at him, green with envy, as the home Mac counts down their time: "Parental controls log-out in five, four, three, two, one...".  Yes, they would like to kill "parental controls." They would also love to get their hands on Nathaniel's computer--particulary William: "A computer without time limits?!?  I could be on that for hours without Mom and Dad noticing!  I could order me the entire Lego catalog!"  (Not sure how he thinks he could do that without a credit card--clearly he has not thought this all the way through.) But here's the problem: Nathaniel locks his computer.  It's some new-fangled security that actually requires Nathaniel's fingerprint to log on.  It's just a normal HP computer but has this crazy (and unnecessary) technology.  Now, you may know that 11-year old William wakes up early.  6 AM early (always and forever.  No matter how many times I tell him, "YOU ARE NOT MISSING ANYTHING.  NOTHING IS GOING ON DOWNSTAIRS AT 6 AM!!  GO BACK TO SLEEP."). Well, one morning when Nathaniel was home, around 6 AM, there was the locked computer right next to a sleeping Nathaniel, a sleeping Nathaniel that won't be seeing the light of day till around 1 pm, because he very likely went to bed only three hours ago at 3 AM. It's right there! Unused--locked and, yet, unused!  Knowing that everyone is still sleeping, William recognizes an opportunity--he could get lots of important Lego-research done during these prime quiet hours. But what to do? With the Mission Impossible soundtrack playing (softly!) in the background, William hatches a plan. Climbing on to his  brother's bed (mind you, Nathaniel is 18 and 6'4") and standing over and straddling this sleeping brother's head (yes, this is a  bad idea!) with the computer in one hand and his brother's index finger in the other, he gently attempts to swipe it over the fingerprint reader in hopes that it will unlock. Well, despite this valiant effort, suffice it to say, the monster awoke. You can imagine what happened next!

You can't make this stuff up.  

31 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha! William is one determined guy! That is hilarious!

    I love Bill Cosby and I love this skit. So true!

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  2. I love Cosby! First it was Picture Pages as a preschooler and then The Cosby Show! I was about Rudy's age and just loved her. I always thought my dad was kind of like a white Bill Cosby with his sillyness and bad sweaters ;) I don't have kids yet, but can't wait to re-watch episodes that will mean even more to me once we have kids!
    Oh, and Lindsey's backpack sounds scary :)

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  3. oh my good and holy Lord. Great. post. Great writing.

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  4. LOL! William is awesome! lol....Sounds like something I would've wanted to do as a child, but never dared because my brother would have KILLED me! Go William, go! lol. I love it... but I'm sure it's not always fun to be the mom/referee when it comes to your kids' battles. I'm not there yet. I have one 3 month old and that's it. . . in due time I'll find out what it feels like to be in your shoes. More power to you! I'm sure you're a great mom. =)
    AND, that video was SO funny! Thanks for sharing!

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  5. I love BC. And by BC, I don't mean Birth Control--though that's okay too. I mean Bill.

    Sorry this comment got awkward.

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  6. Please tell me the burrows into their brain parts is a joke. Please please please.

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  7. @sara, pretty sure those brain-burrowing lice don't exist... YET.

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  8. Ooooh wow, William is VERY brave. Accidentally awaking a sleeping college student in such a fashion? Danger most definitely awaits. Awesome story :)

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  9. I actually have one of the HP laptops with the newfangled fingerprint reader. it certainly makes me feel fancy. and lazy - I use it to log on to most websites now because apparently it's too much effort to remember and type passwords.

    pffft. college kids. we're a lazy breed.

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  10. OMG. Your family is so much fun. The story about William swiping Nathanial's finger is something out of a sitcom. So good.

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  11. hahaha! that william is clever. so funny!

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  12. hahaha that william story is brilliant!!

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  13. oh, gosh! william, that is hysterical!!

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  14. Oh that William! The posts featuring him are my favorite. Genius he is. Minus that "your brother is WAY bigger than you" part.

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  15. This is totally hilarious!! I love it! The monster awoke!!

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  16. As one of five children I can totally relate! These stories totally made my morning!

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  17. Hahhahahaha this is so funny!

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  18. oh my gosh. the laptop story. he's a smrt kid, but that is out of control. too much.

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  19. The laptop story made giggle out loud. Determined and smart kid!

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  20. HAHAH... God, to have been a fly on the wall for that William and Nathaniel scene would have been AWESOME... It's going to be so much fun to see what sort of tricks Mr. Parker has up his little sleeves one day!

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  21. this is hilarious! love your posts.. we decided we wanted 2 children (hopefully to adopt one) but reading about your big ol' family is making me want a bigger one more and more!

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  22. friend. after a TOUGH day being "a mom"... this made my night. I read this while eating and going to the bathroom ... and when Aaron got home... told him that in order to unwind from the day... we were going to read Bridgets blog... and watch all available Bill Cosby comedy on youtube. and it was awesome.

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  23. I want more!!! The stories of your kids have me dying of laughter! Please, do some monthly writeup of this stuff, it's too good not to.

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  24. This made me laugh so hard. Especially the last part about William. Amazing!

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  25. Are you ready for this? Perfect (free) Christmas gift for William (and probably Jordan and Lindsey too):

    One day, unlimited computer access. Bam.

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  26. Ha!!!! The other night as we stopped at a stop light, my own William made strangling sounds from the back of the miniva.
    "What's wrong William?" I asked.
    "He has the seat belt wrapped around his neck,"said my older son calmly.
    "And you know seat betls get tighter when you stop.
    Yeah.
    Wrapped around his neck like 3 times and getting tighter by the second.
    Thankfully I was in the passenger seat and jumped over the console, through kids 3 and 4 to kid 2 and unbuckled his seatbelt.
    After I unwound the seatbelt from his neck, I asked him, "why in the world would you do that, William?"
    "I just wanted to see what would happen."
    Oh. Right.
    Kids.
    Love from,
    Great

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  27. Hysterical. In a masochistic way, I can't wait for this. The one bebe thing I have going is too easy to be this funny.

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  28. I needed to see this thanks!!!

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  29. Love the stories!! How fun to have all the different ages of kids altogether. I'm sure there's never a dull moment! :-) (the computer swiping was classic! hehe!)

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