I was a teenager once. In fact, it wasn’t so long ago… something that I think sometimes helps me deal with the crazy ones in my life now. And by crazy I mean crazy. Steve and I are quite sure that teenagers have been lobotomized (think One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest) at around 13 and will be un-lobotomized (it’s a word) around 18 and somehow parents, even the most astute, just missed the procedure. It must happen in the dark of night. The lobotomy men crawl through the windows of unsuspecting, sleeping teens and swiftly and quietly perform the procedure. Your once-sweet teenager has, seemingly overnight, turned into an angry, brooding person hardly recognizable from that which they were the day before. Ah! The lobotomy men must’ve paid us a visit! Anyway, where was I going with this? Well, that is my declaration. That teenagers are indeed crazy. Certifiably insane, I do believe.
My confession and admittance is that I was one too. I think I still made more sense and spoke less jibberish than mine do now (of course I do! But seriously!) but, nevertheless, I had a semi-lobotomy. Just a small one. Partial, if you will. Here’s why I know this is true. I practically had a love affair with Leonardo DiCaprio in my mind. I watched, like many of you, Romeo & Juliet with him and Claire Danes.
I mean love.
I thought about him nonstop. I wanted to be Claire Danes. I had a white wall in my bedroom and I went through a hippy phase in middle school complete with door-hanging beads, a blue lava lamp, and a blacklight. Thus, with my trusty highlighter, I could confess my love for Leo on my wall in highlighter and noone would see it until they turned my blacklight on. Then, like some scene from a movie with a psycho killer, they would see “Bridget DiCaprio” and “Bridget + Leo 4Ever” and “I love Leo!” all over my wall. Then, they call the police.
The police part didn’t happen but only because I didn’t in fact know his address and didn’t have either the money or know-how to fly across the country to L.A. to stalk him by myself. Otherwise…
And I seriously, seriously conjured up this idea in my head that it was actually possible for him to fall in love with me. For us to somehow cross paths and become husband and wife. I must say now, just so you all don’t write me off as a lunatic, that somehow in that semi-lobotomized brain of mine, I knew the chances were slim, but at the time, I sincerely hoped to be Mrs. DiCaprio.
I think I got over it by high school.
And then Titanic came out.
Enjoy some of the songs that aided in my fake love-affair.
(from Romeo & Juliet and, of course, the Titanic theme)