Our Story, Chapter 4.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

It really is high-time to write chapter 4.  It's been about two months since the last chapter.  I just don't think chapter 4 is as exciting as chapter 3 was.  It also has no semi-inappropriate video (what's that?  You were hoping for one?  Get your mind out of the gutter!) to accompany it and everyone loves a semi-inappropriate video now, don't they?

Anyway, where did I leave off?  Ah yes, the film was "running out of tape."  Alas, we found ourselves perched on the most gorgeous mountaintop in Flumserberg, Switzerland.  I had a shiny new diamond doning my left hand, and a very happy man sitting next to me.  We had cheeses, and breads, and fruit for our picnic and we were taking pictures, and a video (as you all well know at this point) as to not miss a beat.  I tend to miss beats, many beats, during the times when you especially hope not to.  It's like life gets so big, so important, so significant that my brain just shuts off.  Maybe I would miss the feeling if I were so concerned with remembering.  Maybe.

As I was saying, we were engaged.

It was July 16.

We returned to Massachusetts for a lovely summer complete with boating on the lake, bbqs, and friends. Not only was I dating that once-professor of mine, but now I was actually engaged to him.  Wowza.

Wedding planning arrived quickly.  We were planning for the following June.  In St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands.  Yes.  It would be perfect.  I had been there once before and fell in love with the place.  And for some reason a destination wedding felt right.  That way the papparazzi would have a harder time finding us and getting their pictures for the magazines.  Of course.
June was far off though.  It was particularly far off for a man who really needed me.  (And, in a different way, I needed him too.  I suppose that's just the way love is though.)  It's like the grieving process would be near completion (not complete, it's never complete) if normal life could finally resume.  And of course, all the unromantic details like dinners and laundry and butt-wiping... doing them by yourself for another whole year, being a single dad for another whole year, going to bed alone for another whole year... he'd found me.  I'd found him.  Why the wait?


So, it was October when we decided to get married in December.  Ladies, it is altogether possible to plan a lovely wedding in that short a time.  Never did I picture myself having a Christmas wedding.  But, never did I picture myself being a stepmom at 22 either.  Life threw me a few loops, so what's a few more?  We planned and purchased and primped.  And on December 22nd, I married the love of my life. The ceremony was perfect.  In this small chapel that we filled to the brim.  There were holly sprigs tied to candle sticks that were lined up the aisle.  There was a lot of red in the room--red dresses and lips--and he sang to me!  He sang Kenny Chesney's "Me and You."  His friend played guitar.  And he sang.  And that man is a good singer.  I was told only recently that my cousin thought it was streaming out of a stereo and that Steve was lip-synching.  Hilarious.  Can you imagine lip-synching at your own wedding?
(this is me giving a thumbs-up after the singing)

Then, of course, the reception and the pictures and trying to scarf some food down in your rarely free moments, and dancing to Sara Evans "I Could Not Ask For More," and floating through the room locking eyes with the Mr. that just made you a Mrs. from time to time and realizing that while there is all this fanfare bustling about you, you just got married and you're going to be with this man forever.



Like I said, I forget a lot of things when life gets big.  So as I look back, I remember moments, many moments, but they are hazy as though I'm seeing them through a fog.  I think subconsciously the idea that I not only became a Mrs. but also became a Mom was so large and so difficult for me to grasp.  As you might know, I have a hard time with change.  And it's not like I wanted to change anything--no, I loved this man... that was certain--but blending my life with his was not going to be easy and was going to be perhaps the biggest thing I've ever done.  And right then, as I think of it now, I had not a clue how hard it would be.  My Mom asked me, months after the wedding, if I felt sort of unprepared for what my new life was like.  I would say 100% yes.  But, how do you prepare someone to be a Mom?  How do you tell someone that it won't always be easy and expect them to actually get and feel what it is you're talking about?  Sure, people could've told me, "Sometimes it's really not fun.  They whine and they cry.  They sometimes throw up in the middle of the night.  It will be tougher for you because you didn't actually birth them."  It wouldn't have made any difference.  Until I experienced it, I wouldn't know the emotions that would accompany those tasks.  I wouldn't know the absolute breaking point that a Mom can reach when she can't be pushed any further.  I wouldn't know the anger a Mom can feel when a child just will not listen.  I wouldn't know the worry a Mom can feel when a kid is having a tough time in school.  I also wouldn't know the delight a Mom would feel when everyone is well and it is a beautiful day and you are all together.  And of course, I don't yet know the difference in feeling these things for kids who share your DNA and kids who don't.  I imagine there is a difference, but I don't know yet.  To really know, you have to go through it.
Now I do know (most of those things).  And I am still standing.  Our road has not been an easy one.  It has had its share of stress and heartache and tears.  But we have our health, our laughter, a roof over our heads, our family, our memories, our joy, our friends.  We have a big God on our side.  You take the good with the bad.  And though, I can honestly say (and have said) that I did not know what I was getting myself into, I wouldn't change a thing.  Because I still have my best friend to do it with.


And a heck of a lot of life lessons under my belt.

80 comments:

  1. Beautiful, Bridget. And so happy to have shared it with you...and to continue sharing it with you! Love you.

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  2. love it.

    Going from single to married with a little crew of children, wow. He must have known you could do it. And you must have known that you loved them all so much that you could too.

    You get to live an amazing, unique life. By the time you are 30 you will still look like a young model and have the maturity and grace of a seasoned mother. So neat.

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  3. bridge, i can't imagine anyone more fit for this than you. god knew what he was up to. love you. love steve. love your story.

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  4. how beautiful! I'm going to have to go back to the post about how you two met. You seem meant to be. And so in love :)

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  5. so wonderful! thank you for sharing with us. :)

    "we have a big God on our side"... mmm, i love that. such truth.

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  6. Wow. I just read all of the four chapters, what an amazing story!

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  7. Aww, that is so neat. Crazy to imagine "jumping in" to something like that, but life is never what we plan for it to be, is it?
    Thanks for sharing!

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  8. I'm SO glad you guys didn't wait. This was a joy to read. Stunning pictures by the way!

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  9. always loving your story. isn't crazy to look back sometimes and realize God knew what He was doing all along?

    Love You Island Friend!
    -linds

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  10. Now I'm remembering how I fell in love with your blog because your love story, how I stalked out all the installments and even cried because of that damn music player.

    Please say the story isn't over! I'll even take humdrum marriage happenings.

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  11. Hi Bridget!

    what a wonderful love story you have! mom to 4 kids almost overnight! This could make a good romantic comedy, or has it been made already? Thanks for sharing. And you are a beauty, but you must already know that!

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  12. Oj, thanks so much for sharing this! It's such a beautiful story, and I love your honesty. Gorgeous wedding photos!

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  13. I have loved reading your Love Story! Am a new follower and I look forward to reading more posts!

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  14. What an amazing post! You write so beautifully and the pictures are divine. What a life you joined and an intense love you clearly have. You were a beautiful bride that is for sure. Now I am off to read more chapters :)

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  15. you might just be the prettiest bride I've ever seen.

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  16. Hey there Bridget - just found your blog and LOVE your love story and cute family pics. Also love your fun - and dare I say it - *refreshing* take on family life. Hilarious and moving. Love!
    Bron @ Baby Space

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  17. I think your love story is amazing! Thank you for sharing it- you've inspired me to write about my own!

    :]

    Lots of love,
    Bre

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  18. I just found your blog through "My Favorite Things."

    Your story is amazing. Really and truly. Even though I don't know you, I'm so happy for you and your family, because finding love and happiness is not always easy but when it happens it's the best thing ever.

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  19. adore it. enough said. and your photographs are stunning! :)

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  20. I just read your entire story. It was awesome. thanks for sharing.

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  21. what a beautiful weddingpictures! And you look fabulous!!!!!

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  22. How lovely! It's great how you got him to do the second post too - THAT'S true love ;P Your wedding pictures are stunning also, beautiful blog in general - good stuff.

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  23. I just went and read every single word of this, Bridget!!! If you knew how seldom I actually spend this much time at one blog, you would be honored. Lol! I even watched your sideways, "semi-innaporopriate" video! How CUTE!!! You are beautiful, and your husband is so handsome. What a sweet, sweet story. So glad I read this!

    My husband and I have a really special story too, and I so need to get it written out on my blog. Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed by it, though. I feel like I could never do the story justice, and make people understand all the little things like I need them to. But I WILL try!

    Thanks so much for sharing this! I'm so glad to have "met" you! :)

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  24. Hi Bridget!

    I just finished reading all 4 chapters and went from tears to laughter - back to tears...

    My husband was also one of my College teachers, our story is in many ways similar except he was not married before or had any kiddies. I understand exactly how you felt then and the need to write this story and I am glad you did because in a way it's helped me look a things from a different perspective.

    I also got married at 22 (December 21st) and I still remember all the nasty rumors that went around about how we started dating and how we got married.

    Thanks so much for sharing your love story!

    You have a precious family!
    xo

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  25. Such a sweet story. I found you from a comment you left on CJane. I have 4 kids and can't imagine what it would be like to marry into that. Amazing! Those kids (and your hubby) are lucky to have you!

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  26. I was so completely intrigued by your love story!!!! it seems so unreal and it makes me so happy! :)

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  27. You are just...statuesque. And gorgeous. LOVE your pictures.

    Our anniversary is December 21st. It was awesome for having a wedding but for an anniversary? Kind of lame. Flights are pricey and people expect you to be at their houses for Christmas festivities anyway. Hadn't thought that through real well...

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  28. Hi Bridget, I've just read your story, all 4 chapters of it. What an amazing and uplifting love story you have, told so beautifully too. Where's chapter 5? Kellie xx

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  29. What an amazing love story!! Thoroughly enjoyed reading all the "chapters." :) And what is better than a winter wedding with red lipstick?? Loved it.

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  30. You story is amazing! Thank you so much for sharing. I don't know that I could have written about something so important so perfectly.

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  31. i'm so very glad that you commented on my blog so i could have the joy of reading your beautiful love story. it truly moved me. thank you thank you for this.

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  32. such a great story - thanks for writing it!

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  33. I just read your whole story and WOW! You should write a book :). Your wedding was beautiful also. Thank you so much for the comment on my blog. I'm officially a new follower for you!

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  34. loved reading about your story!:)

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  35. WOW! I just read your amazing story.. and have to admit that it almost made me cry. It was so romantic. I am so happy for you both.
    Best Wishes
    CC

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  36. Hello! Just hopped over from Danielle's blog and read your whole story. I enjoyed it so much! You could not have pulled me away from the computer. :)

    It's so nice to "meet" you. I'll definitely be stopping back by!

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  37. Hello,
    Like others, I just came over from Danielle's blog. Thanks for sharing your story. You are a brave woman and I say that from experience. My mother died leaving my dad and my three sisters and me. After six years alone my dad remarried to a wonderful woman! We had our fair share of hard, but God is so good and I feel especially blessed to have not one, but two moms!

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  38. What an absolutely gorgeous couple!!
    Your blog is fantastic.

    antoinettemusik.blogspot.com

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  39. i love love love your story. it's almost 'fairy taleish'...i know thats not really a word....but its beautiful. thanks for sharing such a personal part of your life. i found your blog thru funky vintage kitchen!! xo

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  40. My grandmother married my grandfather when he was a widower with four boys. Her family was not supportive, and how lucky you were that yours was!

    What a wonderful story.

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  41. Absolutely beautiful! May the Lord continue to guide you in your journey

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  42. I am such a creep right now, but somehow i ended up here, reading your blog, and reading a love story :) [i love love stories] and i can't leave without saying that you are so unbelievably brave! I love hearing about your faith and complete reliance on God. Man, what a good day of accidents it has been for me today :) thank you!

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  43. i was absolutely captivated when i was reading your blog today at work. i l.o.v.e.d. reading this "our story" part of your blog. i think it is so neat how you two didn't rush into anything first, and kept it very professional. i admire BOTH of you. congratulations on your life together and on your new little one! i am so glad i came across your blog and am anxious to read future posts. :) have a fabulous day. :)

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  44. At that age where most girls would be getting drunk by the hallways and partying hard, you were forced to grow up. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It's difficult to be a stepmom at such a young age - to a crew of 4 to boot! Stay strong and beautiful.

    "Sometimes, certain of God's blessings arrive by shattering all the windows".

    xo

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  45. i loooooved reading your story. i couldn't get enough and was sorta sad when it ended {although it ended happily}

    i love stories like this. .... i've had a crush on a teacher before and so it's kinda like you're livin' the dream. there's gotta be a little excitement for you there ;) haha

    you two make the cutest couple and i'm truly sad over the circumstances in which you fell in love but i think you two were just made for each other. soooo cute together. he's gotta love that he has a hilarious wife! i like just reading your stuff haha but he gets the laughs in real life

    anyway, i'm so excited to see your baby and look at pictures and follow you through that journey.

    love your blog! and the laughs :)

    <3, kandice
    {come visit us at www.kandice-sean.blogspot.com anytime you like. i love nothing more than making new blogger friends}

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  46. So I found you through Megan at Across the Pond and loved your hilarious inappropriate self deprecating guest post. And now I've spent the last hour reading "Your Story" at work and I just want to say "Thank You!" for sharing it!! I truly truly enjoyed reading it and am super excited about following your blog now!! And I apologize for my overuse of the exclamation point. I have an addiction!!

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  47. Just stumbled onto your blog today!!!!!! Wow----what a story :) I loved reading the 4 chapters of your story! Can't wait to check out more of the blog!!!! I also LOVE that you got engaged on July 16th! I'm getting married THIS July 16th :) It was a neat coincidence!
    Congratulations on your pregnancy---and I look forward to reading more about you on the blog!!!

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  48. I can tell you are a very strong and powerful woman - a lot to take on, for love. A lovely story.Thank you for sharing!

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  49. i love love love this. everything about it. what a beautiful family you have.

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  50. I just came across your blog and read your whole story - it's such a beautiful love story! Thanks for sharing!

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  51. same as everyone else, i just came across your blog and have devoured your story like a large slice of lemon pie. Yum. That husbie is indeedy 'swarve'!

    i'm off to do some further investigation in your archives, i believe i have a new blog crush, it's yours!!!

    be blessed, lady (oh right, you already are)

    xo em

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  52. I'm a new follower and just had to tell you how much I enjoyed your story. It's amazing and beautiful and I can't wait to read more about your life together!

    ~Tiffany
    http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

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  53. I stumbled upon your blog, and timing is everything. I just got news that my boyfriend and I are getting the rental home we applied for. The caveat, I am moving in with he and his 2 little boys he has 50% of the time. I am a grown woman, and I am stepping into an insta-family. Scary, exciting, almost hard to believe, and yet my heart patters at the thought of taking this next step with my love. I thoroughly enjoyed your honesty and the story you have shared. Thank you!

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  54. Just read the 4 chapters (couldn't stop)- totally made me smile. My parents had a 21 year age difference and were the loves of each others lives. Cheers to you both and to your beautiful, growing family!

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  55. your wedding is absolutely beautiiiiful!

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  56. this is just the sweetest thing. really. and your whole "it is altogether impossible to plan a lovely wedding in that short of time" thing? bullcrap. based on the photos, your wedding looked beautiful. that dress was absolutely gorgeous, and you were just radiating happiness. I'm so glad everything worked out for you.

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  57. I read your post on Casey's blog and HAD to come over here to read the full story. Such an incredible story...I love it.

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  58. This is hands down the sweetest real love story I've heard. I LOVE your story!

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  59. well. y'all are lovely. thanks so much for sharing your story, really beautiful and a blessing.
    so glad i found your blog!

    happy new year!

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  60. Just found your blog today! I really love your love story. There is no 'right' way to fall in love--each story is beautiful and telling.

    My parents have a 23 year age difference. They are about to celebrate 30 years of marriage. It's a great love story that continues to be beautiful. I know it has not always been easy for them. And people have often even thought my dad was actually my grandpa.

    Not everyone gets it, and my parents gave up desiring that everyone 'gets it' a long time ago. They get it, we get it and really that's all that matters.

    I suppose the most telling aspect is that they have been together for 30 years--a lot of nay-sayers were sure it wouldn't last.

    So happy you have found love x5 when marrying the man of your dreams!

    Thanks for sharing your story :)

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  61. I've read your blog for a long time, but I'd never really read your story. I only knew a few of the basics. I have to say that your husband's chapter made me really like the guy. God has a plan for us and sometimes that plan may look a little weird to everyone else. However, what matters is what the plan feels like to you. What a beautiful story!

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  62. Hi. I've read your blog, but never read your story. Just finished all 4 chapters- wow...loved your honesty, style and willingness to trust the unexpected. Amazing what God does when we let him meet and exceed our expectations. Thanks for sharing!

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  63. You are one exceptional woman, an a true inspiration!
    Not to mention how beautiful you were as a bride! :)

    xx,
    Erika

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  64. I've read your love story before but never commented. I came back today to read it again! Such a beautiful story!

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  65. Stunning, STUNNING pictures! I LOVE Christmas weddings!!!!

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  66. I just came across your story after your guest blog on fairytalesaretrue and literally haven't stopped reading.

    Its inspirational, the whole thing. How you decided to be their nanny knowing the responsibility you were taking on. I just love the whole thing. You seem like a lovely lady. I definitely couldn't imagine myself being a step mum to four kids in four years.

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  67. I'll be honest I just read your whole love story all four parts and cried and cried through the whole thing. How beautiful, how blessed (and how slightly scandalous!)! I wish you the best of luck, and you and your family are in my prayers!!

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  68. I just spent a better part of my morning reading your love story. What a happy spin to a tale with a sad start. And will you write your novel already? You are an amazing writer, you have such an eloquent flow and style.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Taylor

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  69. Oh gosh I just spent my evening reading these posts. So many tears. Such a beautiful family, your story is amazing. It's nice to see a couple living their life with so much and embracing everyday.

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  70. What a beautiful story! Sounds like a wonderful book or movie almost! I wanted to watch the "somewhat inappropriate" video, but it no longer appears to be there (?). Also, my husband is 28 years older than me...I have "stepkids" my own age, ha!

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    1. Oh, never mind about my video comment, it was my own browser issue! :)

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  71. Beautiful story! Thank you for sharing over at Ohdeardrea. I am so happy to have found your blog!

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  72. incredible story! I am happy to have found your blog!

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  73. Hi! I'm new to your blog and just found myself totally enamored with reading this story. I have a million things I should be getting done but just had to know all this before I moved on. Thanks for telling it so elegantly. I'll be back for lots more reading!

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  74. Found you through Casey's blog. I just spent quite some time just reading your cute love story. I got hooked once your husband told his part. I love it when the husband guest posts and tells his story. love it.

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  75. Just read your story and was blessed by it! Also - had to let you know I got engaged in October 2010 and married in December 2010 - totally possible to do a beautiful wedding in that amount of time. :) We didn't want to do long distance anymore, can you blame us? ;)

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  76. I just read through your whole love story, and found it delightful--including the video. The timeline also made me laugh, because the year we got married, we got engaged in July with plans for a June wedding after I finished my Junior year of college. Plans which were scrapped very quickly when we decided that marriage would be much more fun than engagement and in October decided to schedule our wedding for the 4th of December, so I have those very Christmas-y wedding photos, too. :) Our age gape is much smaller, though, my husband is just a little over 7 years older than I am.

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(also! if you have a question, check back as i usually answer it here!)

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