notes along the way of pregnancy + life // 21 weeks

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

so, i'm about 21 weeks along now, which is crazy considering it felt like eons before i got here with parker.  but here we are, chugging forward, and just over halfway.  this sweet baby boy hasn't gotten quite the amount of attention his older brother parker did.  i haven't stopped to feel the kicks or rubbed my belly as much as i did with my first pregnancy, but i am making up for lost time now that we're more settled.  and the kicks are so good.  

it is weird, or has been for me anyway, this second pregnancy.  i haven't connected as quickly as i did the first time.  i know i will, once he's here, but it's a little bit, "how will this change life as i/we know it?"  and how will parker, who is still home with me all day, react?  i know it'll be good and sweet and awesome but it's a little daunting too.    

our house is looking more like a home but there's the learning curve that goes with a new house:  where are the light switches for this room?  which drawer should hold the silverware??  we're figuring it out, making adjustments as necessary.  plus, since we downsized, we really need to make every inch count.  and from here on out, i will give greater thought to what i bring in this house.  how badly do i need that new salad bowl?  how much do i love this sweater?  we had two bureaus and a pretty big armoire in our room that no longer fit at all.  double and triple-thinking purchases from here on out!  the purchase i will not double or triple-think however is the meyer lemon cookie thins from trader joes.  crack.  so, so, so good.  eat a handful (a sleeve, or two, what have you) with the best exotic marigold hotel soundtrack going in the background.  it's a lovely pairing, if i do say so myself.

like they all say, the terrible twos are nothing, and the threes are where it's at.  for parker anyway.  with that said, he's still a sweet one most of the time, but i'm definitely seeing some behavior that's new and... challenging.  it's also been a time of transition, so we've got a few variables thrown in here.  when confronted with his toddler-ness as of late, i found myself at a loss. how should i react?  i was really surprised at my sudden lack of confidence in being his parent.  up until this point, i felt really good, really solid about the decisions i was making for him, and then suddenly, i was second-guessing myself.  are time-outs good or bad?  should i give ultimatums?  rewards and punishments?  do i tell him when he's hurt my feelings or is that manipulative?  i'm still learning, and lord knows there's a million different parenting theories out there, but for now i'm reading this book (recommended to me by my friend sara, who's daughter is the cutie on the cover!) and really enjoying it.  parenting toddlers could become a whole blog series.  who's with me?!  hear hear!

i just bought the first gift for the new baby last week.  i don't foresee myself getting much more because, as we discussed, space... add to that, it costs money!  and because it's a boy!  hand-me-downs galore!  but i did get the little man this because it's beautiful and every baby should have at least one new thing.  

so there you have it.  notes along the way of pregnancy and life at 21 weeks.  as always, thanks for reading.

21 comments:

  1. Listening to that soundtrack now and loving it! (Love the color of those pants too, btw.)

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  2. You're a force to be reckoned with, and I'm just in awe of how much you're doing right now. Keep it up lady! Oh, and it's been three years in our place, and Craig STILL doesn't remember where things go. Which leaves me wandering our kitchen going "But WHERE did the colander go?!"

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    1. dude! it's a lot. and there's stuff i'm not even blogging about! too much. i look forward to some serious relaxation. and wine.

      thanks alex!

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  3. Totally feel ya on the "threes." We got our first past the so-called "terrible twos" and found ourselves patting our backs, saying we must be the greatest parents ever because the "twos" were SUCH a breeze. Holy smokes...the THREES..pay-back times ten. Oy! We're lucky we came out of those alive!! HAHA! Three seemed to be that age where our littles really tested the waters of their independence. Being consistent definitely helped us navigate the rough seas, though. I'm sure you'll rock this, mama!! *HUGS*

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    1. steve and i were literally telling ourselves "the twos were nothing!" about a month ago.

      payback is right.

      thanks jessica!

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  4. I am 21 weeks pregnant right now with a boy as well, small world! This is my first baby though, so right now I'm trying to figure out what the heck we need to register for...I can imagine that the concerns w/ baby #2 are slightly different! Also, I need to go to Trader Joe's and get some of those lemon cookies, they sound amazing :)

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    1. you don't need much! really. some baby blankets, a rocker, and a baby carrier :) oh! and diapers.

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  5. I'm really sad I can't try those cookies, but the soundtrack is really good and I'm going to start reading the book now (at least something I can get here), thanks for the recommendation.
    Moving and an almost three year old toddler can be very stressful, so I hope august will bring you some time to relaxe and really enjoy beeing pregnant again, without all the sorrows. I'm sure your boys will become friends very soon, maybe there will be some storms to sail through (like coping with not being the center of all attention or something like that ) - we experienced a lot of drama about that, but now they're like attached at the hips and so much fun to watch.

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    1. the chimes at midnight is my fave. on repeat... as well as, well, all of it.

      can't wait to see the non-drama part of parker and a little brother :) it will be just about the greatest, i'm sure.

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    2. Mine too!
      It is! I can't stop watching them just "talk" and play and having a really good time together - I almost forgot all the drama, but my husbands keeps reminding me about that ;)

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  6. Warm congrats on your new dear son-in-the-works!

    TOTALLY hear you about being suddenly unsure of yourself in the face of some new, challenging moments with Parker. Isn't that a strange and freaky (and other adjectives, too!) feeling? Like you, I, too, felt fairly solid and sure in my parenting in the first few years (my sweet son is four) -- felt good to both of us, as far as I could tell.

    And then -- BAM! -- my husband and I were like, "What the whaaaat?!?!" when the little man started rockin' some new behaviors and suddenly intensifying existing ones. We were baffled not only by his stuff, but by how we'd been parenting thus far. Did we screw it up? How should we be drivin' this bus? We trusted ourselves and him and how we were going -- what happened?! I'm also reading Elevating Child Care right now, as well as Janet Lansbury's blog, and have Mindful Discipline by Shauna Shapiro and Chris White up to bat next as we navigate the sometimes rough-and-tumble waters of parenting. It's tough in a way it wasn't before. But we can do it! I am thinking of you!

    And, yes, I'd happily read any and all blog posts you'd write on parenting toddlers!

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    1. ooh, i will check those out. and glad i'm not the only one who suddenly felt like ' what the hell am i doing?!'

      xoxo

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    2. Oh, and I just saw that Janet Lansbury (of Elevating Child Care) just wrote a new post on just this topic today! If you're interested:
      http://www.janetlansbury.com/2014/07/4-toddler-testing-behaviors-and-how-to-cope/

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  7. I'm not sure if you read Catholic All Year, but I find her parenting posts really spot on a lot of the time. While not a mother yet myself and not particularly religious (but raised Catholic), I look at myself as a child (and even teenager) and this post rings particularly true, in that I always knew my mother did not mean what she said and therefore usually ignored her, haha.

    http://www.catholicallyear.com/2013/03/always-mean-what-you-say-how-of.html
    http://www.catholicallyear.com/2013/03/parenting-with-authority.html

    Also good (and probably more relevant on the how to discipline topic!)
    http://www.catholicallyear.com/2014/02/how-to-love-your-kids-and-like-them-too.html
    http://www.catholicallyear.com/2013/12/the-its-all-your-fault-method-of-divide.html

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    1. i don't read it but i'm familiar with it! thanks for the recc!

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  8. The threes are kicking my mama butt as well! And sometimes my instincts (which I usually trust a lot) are to hide in my closet with my phone and some chocolate...so there's that. haha. But as for having two little ones at home, I think Parker is going to be a great big bro! xo

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  9. Um, that's her baby? I would buy that book just for that adorable baby on the cover, never mind I'm never having kids. I'm going to recommend it to my sister-in-law.

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  10. Oh Bridget, I hear you. My daughter turned 3 on the 25th, so we're right there with you. She is pretty sweet most of the time, but then when she's not and I find myself second guessing every parenting decision I've ever made. Right now I'm getting ready for a big decision and it's PRESCHOOL. Since Parker is the same age I'm wondering what you guys will be doing. All my daughter's little friends are 5-6 weeks younger than her and thus their birthdays fall after the school cutoff date and won't go until next year. Technically M is the right age to go this fall. I'm super pro-early education but we really don't have any excellent preschool programs in our area, hence the struggle. It's unfair that the kiddos just a few weeks younger have a whole year more before going! What to do!

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  11. Hey! New reader here! I have a new 3-year-old and a 6-month-old. I definitely experienced the lack of connection during the second pregnancy as well, and the second baby is just different overall, but still so great.

    I'm totally with you on the toddler parenting thing. Mine is definitely a "threenager." Sometimes when we're butting heads my mind fast forwards to the teenage years and I am very afraid. All I want is for us to be close! But she has to learn to behave, dangit.

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talk to me.

(also! if you have a question, check back as i usually answer it here!)

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