getting back to normal.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

i really do promise this won't become a pregnancy blog, but did i promise this wouldn't become a mommy blog back in the day?  is it a mommy blog?  are you all shaking your heads yes in unison right now?  let's just move on.

when i had the big ultrasound, of course i'm eager to find out boy or girl but it's all secondary to how the baby's doing.  i mean, come on.  whenever the ultrasound tech gets quiet i'm like, "everything good?!"  they reassure me.  i want constant check-ins: this is the heart.  everything is good.  here is the spine.  everything is good.  here are the kidneys.  everything is good.  one place in life where being a broken record is a good, good thing.  anyway, we found out BOY and i had a momentary, "oh."  i wouldn't even call it disappointment but just, ok, this is another boy.  if there was a moment of disappointment it was for steve's sake, who was hoping the lord might grant him one more girl out of his plethora of children (sometimes i tease him and sing the 'father abraham' song but with steven subbed in.  you know it?  father abraham, had many sons, many sons had faaaather abraham...).  but the lord had other plans and hunt baby number 6 (and probably the last of the hunt children!  what, you think we should go for seven?) shall be a boy.  as i left the appointment i thought more about having a boy, and how we'd just have to break it to lindsey who was hoping for a sister and then it'd be smooth sailing from there on out.  and, aside from her probable disappointment, i was really happy.  really happy with our boy results.  a mother of little boys?  there's something really special about that.  and while i thought one of each would be fabulous, and i still think one of each would be fabulous, i feel like i get boys a little more.  which is strange considering i come from a family of women, i am a woman, but even so sometimes the girl-breed has me scratching my head in serious confusion.  i know how the men feel!  sort of.  steve, if you're reading this and thinking, "you are soooo woman," then ok.  i still confuse you.  whatever.  i could leave you scratching your head way more than you are, so shut it!

so, to my future boy reading this, i'm so happy to be your mom.  and to my nonexistent girl, i would've been so happy to be yours too.

anyway, about a week and a half after the ultrasound i got a phone call from one of the nurse's and it was basically a few question marks in my ultrasound once the doctor read it.  and nothing really floors you like that.  i was in the car with my mom, driving to cape may when i got the call.  steve somewhere in the car between minnesota and massachusetts, and us still officially homeless, and... it was just a lot.  she said everything was great now, perfect baby, but there were still some question marks that could become problematic and i found myself telling steve amongst passersby on the cape may mall and crying while he reassured me, as husbands do.  and then finding out the doctor who read it can't really elaborate and isn't really even sure, and, by the way he's in europe till next week.  it wasn't handled well, in my opinion, and i found myself having to advocate for myself and asking if there was anyone else who could take a look at this and give me more concrete information.  there was, but i did have to wait a day to talk to them, and then it was good news.  and then just the other day one more ultrasound confirmed that all is well, and lord willing will remain well, and that there were never any problems to begin with.  false alarm.  it struck me though, how quickly life can be thrown into perspective for you.  a house closing, family traveling all over the place, a toddler in transition... it didn't matter.  there've been times in the last month that life just felt like it was dishing up a lot for the hunts.  this one was at the top.  and i know there are no guarantees and that everything doesn't always turn out as we hope or as we plan but for right now in this very moment, life is good.  and chances are, it will turn out that way, regardless of what happens in the meantime.  i hope i'm not sounding too trite.  am i?  forgive me.

so, the sun is out, i have a kicking baby boy in my belly and steve reading to parker behind me, william and lindsey are still sleeping in their beds, nathaniel's doing work in hong kong and jordan's doing construction in minneosta, and there are eggs in the fridge and as soon as i stop writing i will go and make some with toast for us and we will sit around the table and eat them together.  

and i hope that everything is good where you are.  and that if it's not, you persevere and trust that it will probably be good one day and you will again find yourself feeling content.  and soon too.  we're more resilient than we think.  

16 comments:

  1. Thank you for this. My husband and I have been living in a cloud of transition since we got married a month ago, and it's hard to remember to persevere through it all. And that God really does have a handle on it all. Thanks for being that reminder for me today.

    Blessings to you and your sweet family.

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  2. Love your blog and I've been reading since before Parker was born. I had two boys first and was disappointed when my second was another boy. There I said it and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Does that mean I love him any less? No. It's totally normal to have hopes/perference with the gender of a baby. I'm glad you are open about it too, because I remember feeling so alone feeling the way I did. Strangers comments on the gender don't help either. Anyway, he'll arrive and you'll wonder how life even was before he was born. He will be special to you, no matter what. It can be a little rough during the pregnancy when you're not feeling well and it's hard to connect to the baby, but I promise it all melts away once they are in your arms. I can't picture life without my little buddy Andrew, my second boy :)

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  3. Thinking about you! And also cracking up that you sing father Abraham to Steve hahaha

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  4. I suspect there might be one more in your future... time will tell! And this becoming a pregnancy blog wouldn't be the worst thing... I click back to your reports and updates all the time to cross-check with the wacky, exciting, crazy stuff I'm currently experiencing!

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  5. Such a beautiful post, man... you have a way with words. thanks for that!

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  6. So glad to hear everything is okay with your little bundle!

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  7. Oh wow, Bridget. That's a lot to take. Uber-fist bump to you for pushing back and asking someone else to read those results, especially in a moment of -- I imagine -- great shock and fear. And being apart from your huz and immediate family except Parker. Oy. I thought the ending of your post was both very poetic and very beautiful -- the quotidian aspect of eggs about to cook, unborn babies kicking, books being read, loved ones nearby slumbering . So normal -- and so extraordinary.

    And such a funny post too! Gah! You write in such a chill, but simultaneously very well ordered way.

    Wishing you many more summer days filled with peace, joy, tons of sun and time with the ones you love most.

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  8. Thanks i really needed that. Something terrible recently happened to me and ive been really out of sorts ever since. It's just today that I decided to try and start getting back to our normal. I still feel anxious and paranoid at times, but im trying. Your post spoke to me.

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  9. That last little sentence (or two). That is why I love you, and your blog.

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  10. Having lost a beloved pet this past week, that final paragraph was surprisingly helpful. Thank you. Peace to you and yours.

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  11. Love your posts, mommy blog or not. ;) You do have a way with words. Glad everything is okay with the little(st) guy. I have two boys and it's the best. I feel the same way about girls. Scared. Ha!

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  12. Oh, this brings back so many memories. Our big ultrasound with Liam was traumatic when they said they thought they saw clubbed feet, but, "Don't worry - just come back in 2 weeks and get a more in-depth ultrasound." Then I couldn't get a hold of anyone for a couple days to explain more of the results, and when we went in 2 weeks, they started us out by having us meet with a genetic counselor (!!!). And lo and behold, Liam was absolutely perfect and healthy. But that fear lingered with me until his birth, and I'm pretty sure I looked at his feet almost before anything else.

    All that to say, I hope and pray you're able to put these fears to rest and that the rest of the pregnancy is peaceful in every way.

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  13. Awesome last words. And yes, when I found out we were having a boy this third go 'round, I was a little bummed because our middle is a girl and I have three sisters and so want for her to have that too. It's God's plan, luckily. Thank goodness you're okay--what a terrible thing for your ultrasound to put you through!

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  14. So, so glad everything turned out okay for you. As far as the gender reveal, I feel like whichever one you have first is what you get comfortable with. I had a girl so it was pretty weird for me to have a boy next. I mean so far he's just a baby, a baby with a wiener (what is THAT doing there was my reaction for a long time) but I can also say that my girl has a lot of drama already and she is only 3! I hear boys are easier in that area, so I hope so. :)

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  15. My husband and I have had a rough month or so as well, so this was encouraging to read. Thank you for sharing with us.

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