i feel like i am surrounded by pregnancy and babies right now, friends due to give birth soon, friends just finding out they're pregnant, or friends trying to conceive.  i have a particular soft spot in my heart for the new mamas.  the really new ones.  i remember all too well how amazing it was, on all levels really, to hold my new son in my arms after having just labored and given birth.  how naive i was.  not knowing how huge this shift in my world would be, how vulnerable i would feel (and still do feel, at times) bringing this child that i am responsible for into the world, how the intense love for a teeny, tiny, helpless person can be, at times, altogether beautiful and crippling all at the same time.  how the hormones would cause me to cry a thousand tears at the tiniest heel-prick to check his bilirubin levels (a most minor procedure!), worrying whether he'd have to spend more time under the lights.  how you want to give this child the world on a silver spoon, but will you be able to?  

so, it is with these new mamas in mind, that i wrote the following letter.  i sent it to two of my sweet friends within the last month when they were within days of giving birth.  i figure i'd post it here, for the mamas i might not know personally but who could still benefit from reading it.  

here it is.  for you, soon-to-be mamas.

dear whoever you are,

without wanting to sound too dramatic (but, fair warning: i am going to!), i want to tell you guys that what you're about to do, specifically give birth, is the coolest thing in the entire world.  the world is abundant with the gory and scary stories.  let me be one that stands out to tell you that it is amazing, empowering, exciting, and altogether surreal.  no matter how it goes.  because at the end of it you have, in your arms, YOUR CHILD.  a baby that you and your husband made.  the greatest gift of your life, no doubt (i am literally sitting here beginning to get weepy as i write this... it doesn't help that i'm listening to our birthing playlist at the same time).  your life will never be the same.  but it is such a good, good thing.  the sweetest change a life can undergo.  ok, here come the tears.  you will feel this insane, insane love for this baby and a new vulnerability that you've probably never felt before.  these aren't my words, but i've heard it said: it's like your heart is walking around outside your body.  you love your husband's.  but this love, the love between a mama and her baby.  it's altogether different and it is a sweet, sweet love.  the sweetest, i think.  

birth: you'll feel super-unsexy for a time.  you'll wear mesh panties and your vagina will feel sore.  i tore and needed 8 stitches and am hear to tell the tale.  it's not that bad.  seriously.  chances are you'll be so wrapped up in your new baby, it won't be a big deal.  i've had sex again, and it's been totally fine too!  our bodies are amazing and they heal and they heal well.  your belly will be this weird, gelatinous glob.  fear not!  it goes away.  your first poops will suck.  take stool softeners!  i had hemorrhoids (fun!) for a time and they sucked too.  stool softeners, lots of water, and eat healthy.  let people dote on you.  let them wait on you.  

your boobs: they'll get big and hard and feel like pins and needles when your milk comes in.  then, when the baby latches onto one, the other one leaks like crazy!  use nursing pads faithfully.  the lansinoh ones are best.  they absorb the milk but keep you dry.  again, you'll feel super unsexy.  and you'll wonder if you'll feel sexy again.  you will.  you will feel normal again.  you will fit into your jeans again and blow dry your hair and wear makeup.

your emotions: even if you don't have "postpartum depression" you'll have some baby blues.  you may wonder what you were thinking getting pregnant, how will this change things between your husband and you, how it'll never be the same, how you can't give it back (!!).  you'll be tired.  you'll worry about this baby and germs and people touching him or her.  you'll think the baby is growing up too fast.  you'll cry.  it's ok.  let it out.  it's normal.  so normal.  call me if you need to.  i remember thinking that i could not, would not go to the grocery store with parker in the winter time.  too many germs!  he won't be vaccinated!  how can i?!  i implored steve to do all the wintertime grocery shopping.  now we're into winter and the hormones have chilled the eff out and i can do it just fine.  but the hand sanitizer is never far!

your baby: don't worry about the kitchen and the cleaning and the laundry and this and that.  just get in bed and sleep and cuddle with that new baby of yours.  smell him or her and take it all in.  nurse and sure, check your email on your phone while doing so, but also put it away.  just look at your baby nursing and savor the moment.  it goes fast.  i hate that that's even true, but it is!  it feels like yesterday that contractions were starting and i was heading to the hospital to meet parker.  but it is so good.  it is fun.  they start to laugh at you and look at you with love in their eyes.  they become this little buddy of yours that goes everywhere with you and you develop this sweet history together.  

and finally, when you think 'what the eff!?' because sometimes it's hard and crazy and you won't feel all uber-sappy, you can call me then too.  because it's all normal.  highs and lows.  but it's still really stinking awesome and probably the coolest thing you'll ever do.  

love you girls so much and wishing you soooo much good energy and relaxation during the next few days (or week or so!).

bridget

ps. hope i didn't freak you out with any of this.

this little 'ol blog was nominated!  i'm gonna be honest, i don't see us movin' too high on the charts with the likes of some of the beauts that are over there, but if you have a minute to spare and you like what you see here, maybe you'll lend us your vote over there?

OR I'M SHUTTING THIS OPERATION DOWN.

(just kidding)

maybe this little lady will give you a strawbs or two if you cast your vote.  for us.
(but probably not)

and if you think we're not there, oh we are.  just scroll down.  keep scrolling.  keeeeep scrolling.  ah!  there we are.  towards the bottom (sad face).

grazie.

Dreams of living off-the-grid.

I'm a part of this culture, no doubt about it.  I'm in it, enjoying the luxuries it affords me, its conveniences: checking my e-mail on the go from my phone, driving a little over three minutes to the nearest grocery store, tuning into my favorite show on TV (and if I miss it, it's most likely online the next day!). When it works for me, it works for me.  But there is a tension I feel all the while.  I like it but I don't want to be slave to it.  I don't want to check my e-mail at every stop light because I can.  I don't want my kids to remember their mom as someone who had her nose in a screen instead of her eyes on them.  They'll do as we do, not as we tell them to do, right?  The coming generation, I worry, is losing the ability to communicate outside of texting and Facebook.  These are the kids my kids will be growing up with.  A community that, I'm afraid, is missing out on real life.  That is watching people live their lives on TV instead of actually living theirs.  That is playing games with a Wii controller inside instead of with a baseball and a glove outside.  Was I the last of the generation that used their imaginations?  I used to play school by the hour in my basement.  I played store with my friend Sally, making price tags for everything in her room and taking turns being shop-owner or customer.  I rode my bike around town, weaving throughout the streets of my small town with my friends from morning till evening all summer long.  I didn't have a cell phone in my pocket and yet I managed.  We all did.  Does that exist anymore?  While I totally take part in this culture, I chafe against it so much.  At times, I want to be rid of it completely opting instead for a simpler time in which we weren't fighting the "keeping up with the Joneses'".  (Parents, I mean no disrespect, but WHAT are we doing buying six and seven and eight year olds iPhones or computers?  Setting no time limits for their computer or TV time?  Why can't we, quite literally, tell them to go outside and play on a beautiful day and not dare come inside for one whole hour?  To read a book to earn their TV time?).  I'm not saying it's simple.  Kids are stubborn.  They don't want to do those things when they could be so easily entertained and put no work in by watching a show.  And parents, well, we're tired and sometimes lazy and a screen is a cheap babysitter!  But goodness, does it worry me.  I don't want my kids to miss their lives.  I don't want them to look back and wonder why I let it happen.  Here's where my (and I should say our, because Steve is so of this mindset as well) dreams of living off the grid come in.  I want to live a simple life.  Where a regular day could consist of passing the time in a hammock outside with a book.  Where walking trails wind all around and gardens of vegetables grow waiting to be picked.  Where I don't feel the need to check my e-mail ten times a day and instead I'm really present.  I can do my best to give this life to my kids, but can't we all?  Shouldn't we all?

And if my blog suddenly disappears, you can find me in that cabin up there (like-minded people, join me!  We'll start a commune!  Complete with backyard chickens!).

photo  

this weekend was a nice one, a quiet one.  much like they usually are these days.  i got some good cleaning done, the sun was shining, the wind was blowing, and the temperatures were on the lower side (well, considering that it's been in the 50s, 30s + 40s now feels chilly.  this winter has made a wimp out of me!) so we didn't go out too much.  i had a hankering for breakfast foods this weekend so we ate a lot of it--for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the form of oatmeal with vanilla, peaches, and blueberries, banana sour cream pancakes, eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, and dreamy cream scones.  interrupted by a lasagna and sauteed brussel sprouts on saturday night (by the way, if you don't already sauté your brussel sprouts, please do so immediately.  they're even better than roasted.  just cut them in half, and sauté with some olive oil, butter, then sprinkle liberally with sea salt.  i literally cannot keep my  hands out of the pan when i'm making them and we have had them weekly for about 2 months straight).  so, there was some good eatin' to be done this weekend.  beyond that, relaxing, fort-building out of blankets and pillows, reading, cuddling, and playing.  and now, gotta go watch the oscars!

{interview with william}

{interview with lindsey}

7 months.

the happiest people
do not have the best of everything
they make the best of everything they have
{unknown}

these pictures, you'll notice, are becoming a bit more... active?

in other news, some new parker haps: 

little boy sits up!  like really sits up.

he wasn't, he wasn't, he wasn't, then one day he was.

it's like a new world!  a vertical world!

he loves to play with spoons, bowls, pots, forks, knives
(just kidding about the last two).

he can keep himself contented for quite awhile.

also, recently he discovered exactly where i sit in the car (when driving)

and will try to crane his neck and look at me and smile from his seat.  

it makes me die a little.

he's starting to discover that i'm mom and i'm who he wants 

instead of someone a little less familiar to him.

again, makes me die a little.

we haven't tried any food beyond the avocado and sweet potato.

he's totally not into it.

we'll try again some time.

what else?  

he's napping more consistently,

and is just a pleasure to be around.  

we love him around these parts.

that's all!

happy 7 months, baby!

also, this time last year.  crazy.

(also, i remember seeing other moms with 7-ish month olds and being like, "oh, they've been at this awhile.  they are like full-blown moms who know what they're doing."  now, all of a sudden, i'm that mom and i realize, none of us know what we're doing and i got here in like a day.)

with the weather as gorgeous as it's been this winter, i've taken full advantage and gone for lots of walks.  when i'm feeling particularly lazy and not in the mood, i tell myself it's good for parker (and for family life in general.  if we're all home, we're sitting doing our own thing, ya know?  it's not really together time.).  fresh air!  keeping germs at bay!  vitamin d!

  so, last sunday, i talked steve into coming too.  we walked for hours and by the end william and lindsey were tuckered out.  parker kept shouting to continue moving from his cozy seat in the stroller though.  so we had to, obviously.  we checked out some old cemeteries, old homes, a park or two, and just wound in and out streets of an unfamiliar town.  

by the end, we were all hungry, and we stopped for a bite to eat.  a pizza and sandwich sort of place.  and i did the unthinkable (marianne, stop reading).  we all got cokes!  but, they were these mini ones!  in glass bottles!  they're practically good for you, right?  WRONG.  but they were delicious nevertheless.

it's pretty hard to come up with a collage to accompany this giveaway because there's so much loveliness in this shop and I WANT IT ALL.  clementine shop is run by the lovely emily and her little babe julian who comes with her to work (isn't that precious?).  it's brick-and-mortar locale is in middlebury, vermont but she has an online store so everyone can get in on this as well!  soaps and stationary, vintage cameras (shut your mouth!) to beautiful earrings... you want in.  anyway, here are some of my favorites above... this was not easy: vintage stamps, letterpress prints, a bike onesie (parker needs this!), a beautifully simple silver branch necklace, a shanna murray wall decal (my favorites), and a vintage-inspired linen pillow.

phew.  

so, today is your (one of you anyway) lucky days.

enter to win a 

$50 credit to the shop.

(and a 15% off coupon code for all: BRIDGET15)

to enter:

{u.s. residents only}

+ leave a comment below and include your e-mail!

additional entries:

{separate comments, please!}

+ comment below with a favorite product

+ another entry if you pin that favorite product!

+ follow on facebook

+ follow on twitter

+ follow on pinterest

+ blog / tweet / FB the giveaway

giveaway closed.

sarah is the winner! 

nordstroms-mirror-instagrammin' // learning to crawl a la william! // kissing // teaching gracie a thing or two about not pooping on rugs

being vain while the baby sleeps! // making good on my chocolate covered strawberries promise // again, teaching gracie a thing or two // a pretty day walk

nekkid-roll-around-the-floor time! // slippered baby feet // the delicious chicken divan // domestic goddess in her domain

twins! // checking out mod podge and chattin' on the phone // swedish pancakes, yum // learning to read (also known as eating books)

that's just some of what's goin' on here these days.

i mean, if i could freeze time, i think i would.  this six month stage is sweet as can be.  this kid is such a joy to be around and i truly enjoy almost every minute of it.  when he goes to bed for the night, i crave his little body close to mine after a few hours apart.  sometimes, when i get in bed, he wakes up and i'm not too sorry about it because it gives me a chance to put him on my chest where he falls right back to sleep on me.  sometimes we stay that way for hours.  i breathe those moments in because i know he won't be doing it forever.  but, if i'm being honest, i wish he would.

i'm a sap.  you can stop gagging now.

oh guys, you're gonna love this.

you know those times when the day just turns out crappy and you chalk it up to, well, a crappy day?

but then, there's the times when it's a crappy day but the expectations were higher for that day... the expectations were the day would be extra special... and then it's a crappy day made crappier because the expectations weren't met?  

this is why i purposefully don't go big on new year's eve.  because if that holiday doesn't meet your expectations... well, your whole year is screwed.  so the whole 'go big or go home' on new year's eve?  i'd rather just go home (this new year's eve i was in bed by 10 pm and it was one of the best.  put that in your pipe, new year's eve and your stupid expectations!).  

but, i was hoping valentine's day would fall under the extra special category.  is that too much to ask?!?

i started the day with a happy and kickin' baby boy between my husband and i.  "happy valentine's day!" i said to the both of them with a big smile on my face.  bring it, day of love!  i thought to myself.

i made coffee, made steve some breakfast, we shared a hug or two.  the kids left for school and i got a pork roast in the crockpot.  all of this by 9 am!  i planned on sauteeing squash and making quinoa to go with.  look at me go!

steve gave me a present!  my favorite girl scout cookies (samoas, duh.) and a little something from victoria's secret (is this for him or for me?  whatever!  he got me a present!  day of love is going well!).  william gave me dove chocolates, my favorite, and lindsey gave me a handmade necklace.  v-day!  go you!  exceeding my expectations!

the night before i had taped a big heart to his steering wheel and made a love song cd mix.  he was going to discover it momentarily when he got in his car to go to work.  he'll wonder when i did that.  then he'll listen to the songs the whole way to work with stars in his eyes because his wife is so sweet.  points for being uber-sneaky and romantic.  cupid's got nothing on steve and bridget!  i said to myself.

parker took a nap, woke up, and with a skip in my (our) step we went to the grocery store to grab the ingredients for chocolate lava cake and chocolate-covered strawberries.  check us out!  making fancy desserts for the day of love!  on the way home, i stopped at the liquor store to grab a bottle of champagne.  champagne, some lingerie, chocolate covered strawberries... we'll always remember this valentine's day!  

parker and i returned home, smiles on our face.  the kids will be home soon!  i'll give them their little valentine's day presents, and we'll make dessert together to be eaten after dinner.  that dinner that i started making hours ago!  remember?!  

upon entering the house, i smelled it.  dog poop.  no, dog shit.  dog shit everywhere.  gracie had apparently lost control of her bowels in the 45-minutes we were gone and pooped everywhere.  in multiple rooms on the first floor.  on wood, on rugs, on her own bed (what?  pooping where you sleep, gracie?  really?).  said rug being one of the only places on the first floor where i confidently put parker down knowing it's clean, new, and frequently vacuumed.  he can tumble around and go all face-down-mouth-open on that rug.  the rug that now had shit, soft shit, in multiple places on it.  

all the vim and vigor i was feeling for this day was gone in an instant, my friends.

i called steve, almost crying.  "we are getting rid of gracie."  (don't judge me.)

then, i proceeded to clean it all up.  all eighteen pounds of it.

the rug, a fairly shaggy rug, would be impossible to clean without a professional.  when steve came home, instead of being presented with chocolate covered strawberries, a bottle of chilled champagne, and a wife who was wearing some black lacy undergarments (underneath my clothes, people), he got me: a frazzled, pissed wife who'd entirely forgotten it was valentine's day at this point.  he patiently took every book off our book shelf, rolled up the rug (nearly brand new rug, remember?) and put it in the car for it to be taken to the cleaners.  the champagne stayed in the fridge, the chocolate covered strawberries weren't made, and the chocolate lava cake sort of sucked.  

then we drew up a contract (literally, a contract.  that was typed up and signed by the kids.) about how they are going to walk her (until she poops, dammit!  what a novel idea!) every morning so that gracie will hopefully leave her poop outside instead of inside.  on everything.

i fell asleep putting parker down at 8 pm.  sexy.  and then when i woke up at 10:30 and realized i fell asleep, i went downstairs, steve and i emptied the dishwasher together, and then we went to bed together.  this day needed to be put behind us.

so, it was very much the valentine's day that wasn't.  

this song feels appropriate.  cause folks, love needs a holiday sometimes.  i know, that's two country songs in one week.  what of it?!

well, it's valentine's day.  as you already know, our day will be low-key, it's still a good a day as any to talk about love and how awesome it is.  SO LET'S DO THAT.

i love mrs. meyers' products.  love it all.  makes doing dishes a little spa-like.  that was a stretch.  whatever.

i love this song lately.  i'm kinda sappy since giving birth.  tears come easier than they used to.  and when i hear this song and think of steve and how knowing him has been the hugest blessing, well, it gets me emo!  and this song accompanies it perfectly.

i love nathaniel.  that boy!  man!  man-boy!  (i mean, he's 18... so...) he was home this weekend and it was really nice to have him.  he's just becoming more caring, more intentional... leaving the teenage years behind (hurrah!).  he'll even go in for a hug these days without me prompting.  gah.  makes me weepy.  and i just want to share one of the sweetest moments ever with you.  after last week's post, nathaniel called my cell phone and said thanks and that he's grateful for me.  i don't think he'll mind that i shared it.  it was just too sweet not to.  

i love gracie.  i mean, she can drive me crazy at times (like every time i pass the front door she'll to it expectantly like i'm about to fetch with her.  it's NOT ALL ABOUT YOU GRACIE.).  but nevertheless, she's a lover.  and parker can't get enough of her.  if he starts to fuss while i put him in his carseat i just say, "where's gracie?!" and he's all, "FORGET FUSSING, WHERE IS SHE?"

i love taking pictures.  recording memories.  journaling.  blogging.

i love indoor house plants.  they really do a lot for a home.  i'm just learning this?

i love my friend shannon's stationary.  it's sweet and simple.  i think the light pink be mine might be my favorite (and it's her handwriting.  shut the front door.).

i love pandora.  every morning i've been putting a classical music station on while the kids get ready for school, while the kitchen gets straightened up, while parker rolls around, while i drink my coffee.  it's really quite lovely.  you think i'm pretentious?!  bring it!

i love watching the bachelor.  I LOVE IT.  and live tweeting during it???  it's hilarious.  a veritable party happening, people!  #winning (that was a #courtneyism for you).

i love my family.  my husband, the kids.  my sisters, parents.  i feel like a lucky girl having all these loved ones around me.  

i love being a baby-mama.  it's really agreed with me (it sounds like i'm talking about a food: "cucumbers really agree with me.).  but, really!  it does.  and it helps that parker is a seriously sweet guy.

so, today is a good a day as any to write down the things that we love in our life.  cause, i think that quote is really true: happy people aren't thankful.  thankful people are happy.

happy valentine's day everybody!

...that parker sleeps a lot if you are an instagram follower of mine (itsahuntlife, ya'll!).  every other picture is pretty much... you guessed it, parker sleeping!  he's just so gosh dern edible (and quiet and still and peaceful) during those times.  so, sleeping pictures it is!

but, if you think, "man, that parker hunt sleeps a lot.  how she get him to do that?"

truth is, he ain't.

well, that's not totally true.  no.  i'll give him some credit.  the dude is getting more predictable with nap times and, we're trying a new bedtime routine that has him partying way less between the hours of 3 and 5 am.

anyway, i love me some instagram sleeping baby pictures.  and here may be my fave of all.

holy crap!  don't you want to just bite his nose?!  and the lashes!  why aren't mine so lustrous?!
 and he's mine?  mine?  gah!

this one!  don't even get me started! 

sunny day sleepin'.  enough said.

it's sooo exhausting being a sports-star.  

mom's got me runnin' laps in between naps!  i rhyme!  that's exhausting too!

he got tired of watching me vacuum.  

sometimes she sleeps with me.  my mama.

sleeping with his mouth open.  LIKE HIS FATHER.

don't even TRY to take my sophie.  

like i said, HANDS OFF.

just me and mah boy.

the lips!  i want to suck them right off his face!!  

(what?  i don't really want me a lipless baby, now do i?)

alright alright, that was more than enough.

but gah!  babies!  sleeping!  sleeping babies!

William is a lover.  We always knew this about him.  He's a nurturer, a comforter.  He's the one who runs outside to help you in with the groceries (every single time).  He's Steve's right-hand man when he's working outside in the yard, or cleaning the attic.  He's happy to help you find your keys or run upstairs and grab your slippers for you (we try not to take advantage of this fact!).  He says goodnight about four times each night just as an opportunity to get one more hug.  He's one of the sweetest boys I know.  He's got a good soul.  So, it was only natural, that when Parker came along, the nurturing would extend to him as well.  He's always jumped at the opportunity to change his diaper, grab his pajamas.  He hears him on the monitor and begs to go up and get him.  He wants desperately for Parker to sit still long enough for them to really cuddle (we tell him that day will come!).  He will play with him while I cook dinner, and when we joked (after some poor night's sleep) that William was going to take the night-shift with Parker he says happily, "OK!".  The kid is a dream.  And, it's pretty evident, Parker loves him too.  He reserves some seriously wide-mouth grins for his brother William.

It's really pretty sweet to see.

And, we're talking far into the future here, but some woman is going to be really lucky to have him (and he's handsome too).