bachelorette, part 1.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

oh man, guys.  

so, i know that not all of you are bachelorette fans.  you're gonna want to skip this post.  but, for those that are, emily's season is pretty much the pinnacle of all the bachelor/bachelorette seasons ever, yes?!  she was my favorite on brad's season--which i blogged here.  and i've been crazy excited for this season.  to get lost in the crazy world of abc's the bachelorette on a boring monday night?  sign me up.  i'll be blogging my commentary every tuesday (barring any sleepless nights, etc. which are altogether possible!) for the duration of the season.  and i'm usually in bed by the time this is starting so this is legit commitment.

let's go!

emily looks beautiful.  duh.  

there are some plain, old goofy entrances (ostrich egg guy??) per usual but since we hardly know one guy from another at this point, i'll save more specific commentary on them till later.  but, if emily said what was on her mind instead of being polite, i think it would've been funnier.

(i liked the guy who held the note that said you're so beautiful // i'm so nervous.  touche, man, touche!)

first impressions?

i kinda like jef, the skateboard guy.  he seems genuine and funky.  

i like that doug asked where ricky is.  single-parents, unite!  the note from his son... good work, my man (he probably oversaw the writing of that letter BIG TIME.  "make sure you include that i tuck you in EVERY NIGHT DAMMIT!)

the green shirt MC guy is a little too cheesy and has too many bones to pick with helicopter guy.  lay off.

but on that note, helicopter guy is cheesy too.  luxury brand consultant isn't a thing.  or, if it is, then can i be a fancy yummy food taste tester?  expensive shoe trier-outer?

brazil man looks like maybe he's had some work done on his face?

egg-man sticks around.  questions: will we have a baby ostrich later on?  will he smash the egg if/when he isn't picked?

jean-paul?  heart got trampled?  you just tryin' to be dramatic with a name like jean-paul?!

season preview:

emily gets mad!  drops the f-bomb!  southern lady with spunk!

pink shirt man: shit!  i didn't have the chance to get naked in the pool!  all that work for naught!  oh well, i'll just take my shirt off now.

annnnnd see you next week!

but not before you tell me... who are your faves?!


  1. I'm pretty sure it was Charlie that said,

    "I may have injured my head, but there's nothing wrong with my heart."


    Someone give him a rose.

  2. Charlie is giant Southern titanium teddy bear. I'm in love.

    Jef - hate the spelling, love the spunk. Never would have pictured him as Emily's type, but I love it.

    Doug is one freaking adorable dad.

    Arie is almost too attractive for words. My roommate is a huge fan.

  3. aaaah!hahaha I always watch the bach/bachelorette this with a bunch of girlfriends...solely for the purposes of commenting on everything and laughing a lot (bad?). You have pretty much the exact same comments as we had!! I was laughing all over again reading them just now. :o)
    I liked the guy with the note too, and skateboard guy.

  4. I MISSED THE FIRST EPISODE!???!? WHAT!? NOOO!!!! thanks for catching me up!!! ;)


  5. okay, i only saw the first half where all the guys were introduced, but i'm calling the game for Ryan {the note guy... you are beautiful/i'm so nervous} seriously. they are perfect for each other and i want him to win. time for a ring. show's over.

    but also, i definitely agree with you- emily's season is the season of all seasons.

  6. I'm just gonna tell you what Mike thinks now (because the only reason we are watching is so I can tweet the shit he says, let's be real).

    Doug the dad? Total douche bag only using his kid to strike up conversation. "Oh you're Emily? I HAVE A SON. Hey Emily. I HAVE A SON."

    Party MC and other guy who kept waving his arms around? Mike said, "I'd slap the shit out of Michael if he went on TV pulling stunts like these."

    We both like Charlie (Mike likes his bulldog) and Nate (who will need to come out of his shell if he wants to survive...but I like him and his shy face).

    And now I'm gonna email you something rude.

  7. I really like arie and ryan from augusta! those two are my favs

    my best friend likes ryan and jef is growing on her. and i'll admit he's growing on me too. he's just so baby faced!

  8. I cannot wait to see her get all feisty like! I remember her after the final rose with Brad and everyone was all "wow that girl has spunk"... now we get to see it first hand!

    I like Charlie and the sign holder guy

    I swear this is the super bowl of this entire Series!

  9. Ah sweet words of recap. I watched every darn promo i could get my hands on.

    She is gorgeous.

    But for the record what did she ever seen in brad? I was never a fan.

    I'm just gonna have to live through your running commentaries until i find a way to see them! Blasted ABC!

  10. I did my homework before the show started and took notes on all the guys...I know I'm lame but it's so fun to compare what you say before it starts and then week after week..(I mean seriously I picked Bentley on ashley's season and then immediately thought oh crap he's the worst one!). So I picked Sean...and Charlie. And loved them both opening night still. And I had listed Ryan as a possibility but after he wrote that cute note that said you are beautiful and i am nervous...he stole the show! Love him!!

  11. Oooh I wanted to watch this last night! I just love Emily!! I guess I'll have to catch up over lunch today

  12. oh goodness, i just watched last night for the first time ever and my family started out by saying "what the hell is this junk? go back to hockey" and then by the end, they were totally hooked like "get green shirt guy outta here. and bobblehead guy needs to leave too". way to bring the family together, ABC.

    emily seems like such a sweetie. but i wish i could tell what she was actually thinking. if she just straight up said "i'm not going to play with you and your damn bobblehead dolls, guy", i'd have so much more respect for her.

    green shirt guy was annoying the hell outta me, but he'll be kept around for the drama.

    jef seems like such a sweetie. such hipster hair and maybe not mature enough to be a dad, but he seems genuine and emily was crushing.

    also, guy who used his kid was a little too much for me. she liked him cause moms just go crazy over kids, but the letter was

    arie seemed like the best option maybe. i suck at names but his is super cool, so it made an impression with me. maybe her too? she seemed to like him.

    so that's my beginner commentary on that crazy show. it's yet to be determined if my family will give me the tv every monday night to stay involved in this shiz. tbd.

  13. I don't like any of them.

    Not one.

    It's going to be awesome.

  14. I pretty much squealed when I saw this post. So glad you are going to do the recaps!

    I'm kind of upset with how much they skated over her and Brad's relationship - I want to know what happened!

    Arie and Ryan are my top picks.

    Can't wait for next Monday!

  15. Ok, I loved Ryan from Georgia from the get-go! He works at a sports complex and loves children. Got me!

    I also LOVED Doug from WA. Single dad with full custody. Yes and Yes.

    Charlie from TN...brain injury guy: precious and probably deserves good things in his life.

    Jeff from Utah/skateboard/bottled water....yep. Normally I'm NO to anyone with props, but at least he threw the skateboard in the bushes.

    Nate from CA...oh yeh. She said he smells good:)

    Here are some NO's with a capital NO. Stevie from New shirt and gossip need to go. Kalon/helicopter guy. NOTHING you can say now can make up for your arrogance. Joe from CA, why did she give you a rose?????

    There you have it. a 55 year old Nonny's picks...I know your'e on the edge of your seats!

    Look forward to reading here every Tuesday.

    Signed, A Nonny who doesn't normally watch tv except for The Duggars. Somehow these two don't mix.:)

  16. I have to skip this post until tomorrow b/c it's on my DVR.

  17. Bwahahaha! Love this commentary. Can't wait for each Tuesday mornings now:)

    Ryan- my favorite so far! I'm guessing he'll go far.

    Jef- quirky, but something is appealing about him. Although he REALLY needs to cut his hair. I hate how far it sticks up. But cool that he's from my home state. There have been enough freaks from Utah in the past, it's about time (or have I spoke too soon?!)

    Dad with the letter- nice play, nice play. He knew that would win her over... for now at least.

    Arie- very handsome

    Luxury Brand Consultant guy- Puke! Doesn't this just mean he works retail?

  18. I am all for Charlie! But, maybe its just the dog...

    Also, super stoked it was filmed in my town! :)

  19. Ha! I KNOW I will get sucked in if I ever watch. But I love your commentary!

  20. been waiting for this season forever (and by forever i mean since they announced it was Emily)

    I love Doug, Nate, and Aaron and Jef. because they are the most attractive. Except sometimes dougs eyes look super beady and it throws me off.

    cant wait to see the episode where she drops the eff bomb.

  21. love reading your thoughts...i did mine too on my blog last night...from the hospital. Priorities!!

  22. love that you're recapping!
    we're totally same-same in our thinking...

    sign guy - cute. a contender.
    racecar driver - ditto.
    single dad - sweet and nice... but... ?
    green shirted mc - ick.
    ostrich egg guy - eww.
    helicopter hot shot - duh.

    let the games begin!

  23. oh this is going to be so much fun!! I like the race car driver Arie and the one who had a traumatic brain injury, Charlie?, and the single dad is ok but I agree he so told his kid what to write! LOL!

  24. don't forget you can go to the day after and watch it for free.

  25. I just randomly found Jef's Instagram. Ha.

  26. Did you see this "Snap Judgement" post on Glamour about the new contestants on the Bachelorette?

    it's pretty hilarious

  27. @allie, oh that's GOOD.

    @elizabeth, don't lie. mike found it and told you what it was.

  28. I like Jef, long haired guy, and Arie!

  29. oh my goodness, we were trying to figure out what is wrong with the brazilians face. and i like jef, and that he is from utah (represent) but he looks like he is 18. and I like the dad with the letter and the guy with the "i'm so nervous" note. we will see what happens. can't wait to see!

  30. Oh gosh here are my notes from the show LOL Im SO addicted!!

    At 1st glance I liked charlie (acident guy) and Arie (race car guy) this was when they were doing the opening

    Didn't really care 4 her hair when she was meeting the guys…kinda limp
    (Ofcoarse I think she is beautiful this is just what I noticed lol)

    I think I like Doug the one with the 11 year old
    Jackson the fitness guy....CHEESY
    Joe is a NERD!
    The guy from Brazil totally staring at her boobs!
    Jef the skatboarder......interesting
    Tony aka prince charming.....dumb
    Randy aka grandma...Please! Really?
    I might like Nate
    I might like John aka wolf but he was staring @ the boobs 2!
    OMG the egg guy wtf? As in what the fat?
    The mushroom farmer is cute but 2 young 4 her
    Ryan reminds me of Wes....
    Ah snap Kalon the guy on the helicoptor.....dumb trying 2 show off the benjamins!
    I think I like Chris the bobble head guy
    Jef is cool but I don't think he may b right 4 her.....( cuz you know I know whats best for her lol)
    I thought doug would get the 1st impression rose after the letter from his kid!
    A few guys I never even remembered coming out of the limo lol
    I don't like stevie (guy in green shirt) he is a trouble maker
    Poor travis he was shaking with that egg so bad lol
    OMG I thought that guy was joking about the 6 kids!!

    Those were my thoughts...I LOVE this show!

  31. I am SO excited for this season. I think it will be my favorite yet :)

  32. I've been saving this all day for when I got caught up on the DVR!

    The luxury guy? And how he said he has "a few dollars" in his pocket? I don't think I've ever rolled my eyes that dramatically in my life. GAG.

    The DJ man reminds me a little bit of The Weatherman from Ali's season, so I'm hoping for some laughs there. Although, he kind of sounds like a cartoon character.

    Also, the grandma man. How did he think that was a good idea?

  33. jef and the head injury guy to the end.

  34. The biology teacher with the glasses is by far my favorite. Except the fact that we hardly saw him at all. I also like the skateboard guy. He might represent my home state of Utah like a normal person as opposed to Bently and Michelle Money. I promise we aren't all crazy here!

  35. So excited to read your posts every Tuesday!

  36. I'm loving the guy from Georgia (Ryan) being that I'm a Georgia girl myself...but if you go to the bios on ABC's Bachelorette page, HE'S NOT THERE?! Any ideas?

  37. You are hilarious, ok I guess I will have to start following you now. Must see what you say about the bachelor every week. And since my sister is now one of your sponsors :)
    La Mer ceramics. Love your blog!

  38. Listen Charlie is from MA, so you're on duty if he makes a home date...which I wouldn't mind, he seems real. She mentioned Chris was cute...I didn't think he was worth mentioning (in context). Stevie is pretty much on the show because he got cut from Jersey Shore casting, I just know it.

  39. Also, note guy was my favorite "I brought a prop for my introduction" guy. As far as old ladies, eggs, Prince Charmings and "I'm going to use Portuguese and then smile when you reply in Spanish" go - I'm not into it.

  40. i'm a HUGE jef fan, and doug also. i keep hearing about arie, and he was sweet to tell her about the race car thing, but then again, he had to tell her. so i'm not as impressed with him as others are.

    jef's my #1 so far :)

  41. i'm loving the race car driver so far.

    but i have a sneaking suspicion she ends up with wind-blown-head-jef.


    And Jef and Arie are my two faves. Race car driver with dark hair and blue eyes?

    Emily is stunning and (though my husband thinks I'm insane) I think she is genuinely sweet.

    Are we live slamming...ummm tweeting on Monday's again? Love your running commentary.


    And Jef and Arie are my two faves. Race car driver with dark hair and blue eyes?

    Emily is stunning and (though my husband thinks I'm insane) I think she is genuinely sweet.

    Are we live slamming...ummm tweeting on Monday's again? Love your running commentary.

  44. ha, love this. i wrote a review too if you wanna read. i'm worried about the egg, because you know the guys are gonna break it and dude's gonna loose his egg size mind.

  45. Ok! I was SO excited for Emily's season. Like way too excited LOL. I was shocked she said the f word LOL. SHe is so lady like!! This season will be fun!!! Ok and the guy with the egg? Really...

  46. Ok! I was SO excited for Emily's season. Like way too excited LOL. I was shocked she said the f word LOL. SHe is so lady like!! This season will be fun!!! Ok and the guy with the egg? Really...

  47. PS I like Arie because we go to the same chiropractor (weird) but I heard he dated one of the producers and now I am not too fond of him. He is way hot though :)


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(also! if you have a question, check back as i usually answer it here!)


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