let's go, book club!

today we have a sweet giveaway from queen bee barrette!

this shop is full of adorable little hair accessories to dress up your little one (or yourself!).

some of my favorites above!

they're offering you 

any 3 items from their shop!

to enter:

{u.s. residents only}

+ leave a comment below (with e-mail address!)

additional entries:

{separate comments, please!}

+ like queen bee barrette on facebook

+ visit the shop and leave a comment with your favorite item

+ tweet/blog/FB about the giveaway and leave a comment with the URL

giveaway closed.

liz is the winner!

steve and i are suckers for a country song that has a good lesson.

he showed me this one this weekend and i've listened to it a lot.

it gets me all emotional.  

i want my kids to stop growing up.

parker's got rolls, legit rolls that he didn't have when he was born.

lindsey is talking about boys and singing to taylor swift.  

william requests specific hair styles and clothes.

jordan wants a laptop.

and nathaniel is a freshman in college.

when did this happen?

life, slow down.

picture by sara.

there were a few questions that went unanswered from the original "doctor" marianne post (here's the link to the questions that were answered.).  my mom deferred to my sister kate for the child-rearing ones: breastfeeding, vaccinations, and the like (then kate and mike went and put their house on the market, got a crazy busy summer schedule, and, you know, life... so, it's finally here!).  mainly because her youngest child (me!) was born in 1984 when the vaccination schedule was far different than it is now (but, even then, my mom didn't get us vaccinated until much later in life--grade-school aged--so if you're wondering what she did specifically, there you have it.).  since my sister kate is in the thick of it having just had quinn in september, she's got the more current rundown on the whole deal.  she's also a labor and delivery nurse and a birth class instructor, so she has a bit of a medical take on the whole thing too.  voila!

here were the questions she answered: 

and it's hard to take advice from someone without putting a face to a name, so here's my sister... prego, and then, the little man who sprang from her womb (i wrote this post over a month ago--now you've all, most likely, become well-acquainted with sister kate and nephew quinn).

What are some tips and tricks for successful breastfeeding?

Firstly, breastfeeding is not easy.  So do not beat yourself up if you and the baby don't get it together right from the start.  You need to figure out what feels right and baby needs to figure out how to suck, swallow, and breathe.  You and the baby will figure it out in no time so be patient. 

There really is nothing to do to get your breasts ready for nursing.  Just don't wear underwire bras because your milk ducts will start producing milk even before you give birth.  These milk ducts reach as far as your armpit...exactly wear the underwire falls, creating pressure and potentially causing plugged ducts.  Just throw those bras out now!  

Use all the resources available in the hospital: physicians, midwives, lactation consultants, and nurses.  Ask questions and ask that they watch you latch the baby on, show you different ways to hold the baby, anything they can offer.  Tell your healthcare team that you wish to have the baby placed on you immediately after delivery and begin breastfeeding immediately.  Newborns are alert and awake immediately after delivery so establishing a good latch and suck right from the beginning is a good idea.  Additionally, breastfeeding helps the placenta detach from the uterine lining and aids in uterine involution (shrinking of the uterus) and the blood vessels that once fed the placenta constrict to decrease postpartum bleeding.  If the baby is latched and sucking properly, you will know it by the cramping you will feel for the first few days postpartum.  If baby needs to go right to the nursery for whatever reason, ask for a pump and for help learning how to use it.  Give the nursery whatever milk you get and breastfeed as soon as you and baby are able. Colostrum (the first milk to come in after delivery) is liquid gold, so start pumping or nursing as soon as you can! Nursing is all about supply and demand.  Nurse often, your milk will come in.  Offer the breast whenever the baby looks like he wants it, but don't kill yourself to make it every two or three hours on the clock.  

Engorgement is brutal but passes in a few days.  Rotate the way you hold the baby to nurse.  The baby's chin is the most effective at emptying your milk ducts, so if you include a few different positions (cradle, cross-cradle, football hold, side-lying) his chin will have a chance to massage more of your milk ducts, thus preventing plugged ducts which can lead to more problems if left uncorrected.  I have actually started to develop a sore spot on the top of my breast near my armpit twice now and have placed my son in such a way that his chin was working that spot while nursing and relieved the pain that had started.  If you have a sore spot creep up, place a warm compress on the area and massage it down toward your nipple and then nurse.  Alternately, get in a warm shower, face the water, and massage down toward your nipple.  Milk will shoot out all over the place but it helps to ease the pain as well.

When you first get home from the hospital, stay in bed with the baby for a few days...just sleep and nurse and be skin-to-skin. Let other people do things for you. Wear your baby in a wrap (my favorite is the Moby wrap) so that he has access to nurse often.  This helps with your milk supply and with establishing good breastfeeding.  Plus, it allows you freedom to continue doing the things you love to do (go for coffee or a walk) or the things you must do (laundry, toilet).  Sleep with your baby or have the baby sleep in your room.  The medical world says you should not sleep with your baby, lactation consultants say you should.  If you aren't comfortable, get a moses basket, a co-sleeper, or a bassinet and keep the baby in the room for the first few months.  You, your baby, and your baby daddy will sleep better for it.

Eat like you did when you were pregnant.  Eat a variety of healthy foods.  If something seems to cause baby to have gas, stop eating it.  The baby is used to a variety of flavors because the same tastes are found in both your amniotic fluid and your breast milk, so don’t worry about staying away from garlic or whatever nonsense you may have heard.

Drink lots of fluids!!! A glass of wine or a beer once in awhile is fine too. 

Lastly, when you are having a difficult time with nursing get in the tub with the baby.  Something about the relaxing feel of the water does something to both mom and baby and babies seem to just latch right on.

I am sure I could keep going for pages and pages but this is already hella-long.

And what weird things should I be expecting from my postpartum body?  Everyone's all hush-hush about it, but I'd like to know how to deal ahead of time.

You will bleed for a few weeks. That is normal but should be turning from red to brown to pink to yellow. Clots are not normal after the first few days. You will be smelly too.  Yummy. Hemorrhoids are no fun and you may have gotten them during pregnancy or just while pushing. Use witch hazel pads jammed up in there. They relieve discomfort and promote healing. You will feel sad and overwhelmed and then guilty for feeling that way. Don’t be so hard on yourself - it is a ridiculously huge adjustment. Your hair will fall out at about 3 months. Awesome. At 6 weeks when you are cleared to have sex with baby daddy, you may not want to. Just tell a little white lie that your doctor told you to hold off a few more weeks. Use KY Jelly when you do go for it. Lots of it.

(And--hi guys, Bridget here.  Interrupting--Kate, I think you forgot to mention... stool softeners!)  

A few more resources:

Great article on Mercola.com: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2004/04/03/birth-recovery.aspx

Additional resources I use:

La Leche League www.lalecheleague.com

Mercola www.mercola.com

Dr. Sears www.askdrsears.com

I love a little TMI. I had a natural childbirth with midwives in September. I tore a little and only part of the tear healed. I can't have anything enter that area because I have a fresh cut! I have done sitz bath, estrogen cream and calendula. Any ideas? To say my husband and I would both appreciate it is an understatement.

Apply compresses of cotton pads soaked in witch hazel to the affected area. Expose the wound to air as much as possible. Begin doing Kegels to help restore muscle tone, stimulate circulation, and speed healing. Drink plenty of fluids and make sure to get enough ruffage in your diet to prevent constipation. Check out stool softeners if straining during your bowel movements is exacerbating the problem. Check with your healthcare provider to see if they have any thoughts about throwing another stitch in there to help heal the tear. Be sure to use LOTS of KY Jelly when you and your husband finally decide you're ready to get it on again.

What childhood vaccinations are a MUST and which ones should be passed up? There are just SOOO many nowadays that it seems overwhelming for a tiny growing body to handle.

Tough question and one I am currently struggling with as a new mom as well. Research, research, research! You need to decide how comfortable you are with the risk and seriousness of your child contracting the disease versus the risk of experiencing side effects from the vaccine. I am still unsure about the path I will take, but I believe it will go something like this: delayed vaccinations and then only vaccinations that are for seriously life-threatening diseases. There are entirely too many vaccinations now, more than there were when I was growing up, and there continue to be more in the pipeline! I plan to space out vaccinations as much as possible and give more single-component shots. I plan to get titers drawn before my son receives any boosters. First and foremost I intend to breastfeed well over one year, make all of Quinn’s food from good organic real food, give him probiotics and cod liver oil, and keep him outside in fresh air whenever possible. This is where I believe we achieve health and wellness...not from vaccinations.

Additional Resources I use:

www.askdrsears.com

www.mercola.com

www.naturalnews.com

www.homefirst.com

What are your thoughts on menstrual cups?

Don’t really know much about them. They appear to be safe with a very small side effect profile. If you are after a “green” and holistic feminine hygiene product, check this out which talks about safer tampon

alternatives. And this site also gives a good list of healthy products, including the DivaCup.

I would also love to know her opinion on the best method of birth control. I am having a hard time finding the best choice for my husband and me. I am currently on the pill and I just don't feel 'right'.

Anything you put into your body, be it a pill or a foreign body, has side effects. Best is to use Natural Family Planning (Bridget, interrupting again.  I think that they call people who use Natural Family Planning... Parents.  So, watch yo'self), which takes some work and some education. After that, I recommend condoms. I agree that I did not feel “right” on the pill. I was also concerned when hearing stories of young, healthy women experiencing blood clots and strokes. For me, the risk was not worth the benefit but each person is different and you need to discover how comfortable you are with each method’s side effect profile.

Resources:

http://archive.irh.org/nfp.htm

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/preventingpregnancy/fertilityawarenessNFP.html

true story.

it's 4:29 am.  i've been up since 1:40.  i can't complain a whole lot.  this is the first time i've had to do this and he's almost 5 weeks old.  don't be jealous cause, after all, i am awake now and you're probably sleeping.

he's sleeping now too.  why aren't i?  good question.

well, after faking us out sleep-wise for the 15th time, i decided to bag the attempts to put parker to sleep and just wear him around the house.  baby-wearing burns calories.  burning calories makes one hungry.  hungry people need to eat.

so i had a bowl of life.

that was, until i dropped that bowl of life, for no apparent reason, on the desk and it smashed in two.  milk.  soggy life.  all over the desk.  parker jumped for a second.  back to sleep he went.

oh, and i cut my finger too.

a paper towel and a rubber band do a fine job at a makeshift band-aid in the middle of the night.

and is there any point in going back to sleep if he will be wanting to eat in, oh, 1 hour?

p.s. i am going to start a moms-awake-at-all-hours-of-the-night-so-lets-just-use-the-time-to-blog thing.
p.p.s. probably a bad idea actually.
p.p.s.s. don't i have to actually sign off to necessitate not one, but three p.s.'s?  whatever.  here it is.

love,
bridget

our weekend fun.

pics taken by sister.

i need a word

a brand new word

nobody ever heard

i need a word

that can express

you are the dearest

on the earth

{poem by monique and hans hagen}

parker's latest:

+ 9 lbs. 8 1/2 oz.

+ smiling at mama while breastfeeding... sweetest thing ever

+ sounds a bit like an eagle swooping down for a mouse when crying, noted by auntie kate

+ likes being in the carrier, sleepin' on people, dad singing george strait while rocking, and bath time

+ doesn't so much like being put down

+ looks like dad, says everyone.  mom's still pulling that you've got her genes in there somewhere.

quote found here

and one more, just for fun.

that's parker-man's big feet.  pretty cute huh?

taken by my friend sara.

so, while i've been doing the mom thing for almost five years, 

the newborn thing is entirely different.

when i came along, my other four were resilient.  

i wasn't afraid of their impending deaths every second of the day.

so here are my thoughts... my crazy ones

that will either make you feel totally validated cause you've had the same

or you'll be like, "that bridget.  she's freaking loony!"

i'm letting you in on my one month post-partum head.

this should be interesting.

his swaddle falls on the ground.  oh!  that one's dirty now.  get a new one.

there is definitely diptheria on that very floor tile.

your hands touched the shopping cart and then you use organic hand sanitizer.  

can i touch my baby now?  it's organic hand sanitizer so it's ok for him, or is it?

or, because it's organic, does it really do the trick with the germs?

dilemma.

there was a cough at target.  two aisles down.  does pertussis travel that far?

lindsey hands me the burp cloth.  when was the last time she washed her hands?

his poop.  it's a shade closer to green than yellow now.  virus?  something i ate?  

what is wrong with him?!

basically, i'm a crazy person, fo sho.

quinn + parker.

best friends in the making.

parker isn't much of a playmate at the moment.

he's working on it.

he kept making a liar out of his mom. 

"he just smiled!"  

"it's gas, bridge.  they don't smile this early."

(his first was like 5 days old... i'm not lying!!)

but he finally cooperated and here's the proof.

so nice to get a little real confirmation that he's a happy guy.

love this kid.

+ noppies on zulily this morning.  yes please.  i'd like it all in adult sizes, as well.

+ it is a beautiful day in the boston area today.  not too hot, not too cold.  i think i might take a walk.

+ i want to get these matching shirts for steve & parker.

+ i really want to see the help.  i loved the book and i'm an emma stone fan so i think the movie is going to be good.  anyone seen it yet?

+ i had more than one of my guest bloggers tell me, after their post was published, that you guys are the nicest readers.  i agree.  so, thanks guys.

+ guest bloggers are officially done.  i thank them all!  they gave me some much needed chill time with parker-man and the rest of the hunt clan.

+ if you guys would be so kind, my friend has a survey for you to take to help her with her masters in publishing.  do it.

+ speaking of, everyone is doing well.  he's almost one month old and has joined the family pretty effortlessly, i must say.  

+ kelly ann's latest playlist is perfection.  especially check out dance card.  i'll stick it here for ya too.  it's my new fave (and if you are a music-fiend like me, you should probably continue perusing kelly ann's blog cause girlfriend's got a+ music taste in my book.).

+ my sister and family come tomorrow and i cannot wait to see them.  we need to get a jumpstart on quinn and parker's best friend relationship.  

+ i'm liking this whole having a newborn thing.  oh, and ahn came to visit and got some good parker pics if you wanna see more of the little dude.
+ i get this post on a whole new level.

{Hopefully this is what Bridget & Parker are doing at this very moment}

Hi!  I'm Jora from Domestic Reflections, helping new mom Bridget out while she is busy with little Parker.  (And yes, I call her a "new mom" even though she has four (!) other (!) kids (!) because a new baby equals new mom....in my book anyway.)  I have three little ones (C-Man is almost 6, JuJu is 3 and a half, and Little E is 21 months), so although I am nowhere near having this motherhood thing nailed down (to the contrary!), I do have a just a little experience in the subject matter.  

Something I hear over and over again from new moms is the frustration over wanting to see friends and family (and friends and family seeing the new baby) and needing sleep and quiet time to bond with their beautiful new baby.  It seems to me that everyone has the purest and best of intentions when there is a new little life in the world, but it's a little difficult to know what to do when you are the outsider.  Plus, it is hard for a lot of women to ask for help, and let me tell you, after you give birth to another human being (whether you have other kids or not), you WILL need the help.

Here's where I come in.  I have come up with a list of things to do when someone you know has a baby.  To wit:

1.  Do not, I repeat, do not say, "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help!"  Sure, I have said it myself, but it really doesn't help (even though that is your intention).  Text, email or call (if you must) and say: "I am dropping off a casserole" or "I'd like to come over sometime on Friday and help fold laundry" or "Just an FYI, I am going to Target and I can pick up diapers if you need any."  Do not make the new mom come up with tasks and then make her ask you to help.  Just a (not so subtle) hint.

2.  Bring food.  Lots of food.  High calorie food.  She is most likely nursing, and even if she isn't, she just gave birth to another human being and I don't think I have ever been hungrier in my life than just after I gave birth to my babies.  I think after C-Man was born, I turned to the nearest person and asked, "Is In-n-Out still open?"  True story.  In all seriousness, though, food is probably the most helpful thing to bring. The baby probably doesn't need any more onesies.  Just sayin'.  And if you aren't a cook, no worries, just pick something up!  Bagels, cream cheese and orange juice.  A pizza and a bottle of wine.  Thai food (watch the spicy foods though....).  One of my favorite "gifts" was a huge tray of goodies from the deli at Whole Foods (salame, cheeses, roasted vegetables, pesto, olives, bread)....none of it was cooked by my friend, but it was perfectly perfect and just what I needed.

3.  Offer to run errands.  I always appreciated the "I'm on my way to Costco, text me what you need" messages.  Then again, I hate Costco, so anytime someone offers to go there for me, I take them up on it (which reminds me, anyone going to Costco this week?).  I think texting is best for this type of offer.  If the new mom is sleeping or just crying over a surge in hormones, she doesn't feel compelled to talk (it's nothing personal, just an FYI).

4.  Offer to come over and help with household chores.  As I mentioned before, giving a semi-specific time is nice.  "I am free all day on Friday and I'd like to come help with laundry" or "...start dinner for you" or "...hold the baby so you can shower."  Just think about what might be hard to get to as a new mom and what might be nagging her (for me, it is ALWAYS the laundry).  She will probably take you up on it.  And then, when you are there, remember it is to help and not necessarily to chat.  She will probably give you an indication what she is up for (as in "NEED SLEEP NOW" or "can I please re-live every last detail of the birth with you?").  Just follow her cues.

5.  Remember it is not just about the baby.  Of course, it is all about the baby.  No one feels that more than the mom.  But giving her some kudos is nice too.  She might, strike that, she WILL feel frumpy and worn out and like the circles under her eyes are taking over her face, and any compliment/reassurance/reminder regarding the awesomeness that she is (she just birthed another human, for pete's sake!) would be fantastic right about now.  Maybe bring her a little bouquet of her favorite flowers or a new pair of pretty pajamas or a fancy lip gloss.  All of this will get you very, very far down the road to helping your friend out.

6.  Don't overstay your welcome.  There are lots of visitors with a new baby and much sleep that needs to be made up, so please respect that baby and mom (and probably the rest of the family) need their rest.  There will be plenty of time to hold that baby, I promise!

7.  Offer to take the other kids on an outing.  They are probably bored out of their gourds, and mom is probably feeling guilty about spending all of this time with the baby, so spending time with the older ones and doing something a little special with them is good all the way around.  Take them to the park, frozen yogurt, the book store, even over to your house to bake cookies.  The change of scenery will be good for them.  Also, don't forget little gifts for the other kids.  Nothing big, but it can be hard to see the baby get gift after gift after.....  I admit I didn't always think about that before I had kids, but now that I do, I always bring a little something for the new big brother or sister.

OK, so those are my ideas.  If you have any, please share in the comments.  Everyone has their own stories about what really helped (or didn't).  And congratulations, Bridget!!  Now please, GIVE US THE BIRTH STORY!  ;-)  

this week's giveaway is coming to you from samantha of young people in love!

she has a great etsy shop called can you hear me full of her very own gorgeous artwork.

and let me tell you, girlfriend knows art.

her & her hub's blog is quite fun too.  check it out.

she's giving you the print of your choice, bam.

to enter: 

{u.s. residents only}

+ leave a comment below (include your e-mail address, please!)

additional entries:

{separate comments, please!}

+ follow young people in love blog

+ favorite her etsy shop

+ leave a comment with your favorite print

+ blog/tweet/FB the giveaway and leave URL

good luck!

giveaway closes friday.

that best portion of a man's life... 

his little, nameless, unremembered 

acts of kindness and love.

{william wordsworth}

this is my new thang.  

a little once-a-month parker picture

and a quote and a song we like.

and i am well aware that i am not

the first blogger to give monthly 

picture updates of my offspring.

bear with me, nevertheless?

what's surprised me so far...

how many outfit changes I'd have due to spit up (or pee)

how legit postpartum hormones are... I was a wee bit (lie) weepy

how attached to him I am--I don't really like him out of my sight

how hungry breastfeeding makes me (my sweet friend brought me quiche--I ate 8 pieces in 24 hours)

how I've done better with the lack of sleep then I thought I would (hope I don't eat my words)

how I'd do just about anything to protect him

how I'm already feeling like he needs to slow down cause I'll miss even being spit up on

how the pressure to capture every yawn or smile on camera can leave you stressed out

how sweaty babies can be

how dependent on you they are for anything and everything

how darn sweet they are--so much that you want to crawl inside yourself and just cry a little

 I've been happily following along throughout Bridget's pregnancy--especially with my own due date only one week behind--and am so excited to finally meet him! Congratulations to the growing Hunt family!

I can only imagine that putting a nice, healthy meal on the table will prove a bit more challenging in these first weeks (or months), but it's my belief that fresh pesto can make almost any meal seem special. It's surprisingly simple to make, so it's the perfect recipe for someone who can, with one arm, balance a baby and, with the other, pulse the food processor or blender. And once the introduction of solid foods begins, those kitchen tools may be getting a lot of use anyway!

I vividly recall the first time I dipped a piece of focaccia into fresh pesto: we had picked up both at a small market in one of the villages of the Cinque Terre in Italy and the flavor was literally a revelation. Most pre-made pesto, like that you find at the grocery, has been cooked for pasteurization. Even that which you have on your pasta has been heated such that the flavor changes. But Genovese-style pesto, just after it has been made, is bright green and retains all the character of fresh basil. I look forward to it every summer, when the crop is at its best.

You can play with this recipe (adapted from Bon Appetit) to suit your own tastes, but start with the best ingredients you can find:

4 cups fresh basil leaves (will yield around 1 cup of pesto)

1/3 cup toasted pine nuts (be careful as these are quick to burn--untoasted will work, too, if in a hurry)

1 large garlic clove

1/2 cup olive oil

1/2 cup of freshly grated Parmesan cheese (you can also try a mix of pecorino and Parmesan)salt to taste (usually around a tsp is sufficient)

Combine the first four ingredients in a blender or food processor (or with mortar and pestle if you want to work out some frustration). Blend until a paste forms. Next, add the cheese and salt and blend until smooth. Sometimes, at this point, I like to add a bit of fresh lemon zest or juice for extra brightness.

You will want to have some immediately, perhaps on toast or over some mozzarella and melon, but you can freeze pesto or keep it in the fridge for a day or two. And then you can put it on nearly anything, from sandwiches to steak, pasta to chicken. It will look like you slaved over it!

At the very least, Bridget, I hope it takes you back to Italy when you feel the need for a little vacation!

Congratulations again!

--Ashley

www.babymine.net

www.hitherandthither.net

dad & parker.

august 8, 2011.

love is in the air over here.

picture by my friend (& photog!) sara.

Hello, dear Bridget's readers! I'm so happy to be popping over while Bridget spends time with her tiny boy. I don't have a great theme for this post, instead I thought I'd just share a funny (ish) story about being a mother to, what my friend and I like to call, our little cavemen. Alternately, you can read my birth story here, a bit about what surprised me about motherhood here, and a recipe I like for babies and mamas and families here.

(My little caveman with his stick)

Dashiell and I usually spend the evenings after his dinner in the backyard, watching the chickens and eating blackberries and playing with sticks and all the other things that little boys like to do. Last week, he was doing his usual rounds of the garden with a very nice, perfectly sized stick. I was taking pictures of him with my phone, (natch!). And the next thing I know... stick in my right eye. OWWWWW. I actually started to cry a little, as it did hurt an awful lot. Dashiell thought I was laughing so started to laugh too. Which made me feel all the more sorry for myself. And I was a little scared that something might be seriously wrong.

When I didn't immediately get up, he started to run worried laps around me saying, "mama. mama. maaammmma? mama. mamaaammmmaa!" To which I eventually responded with some difficulty. And then we'd repeat the mama-silence-baby-worried process all over again. We were quite the duo. At husband's insistence, we eventually ended up in the ER, just to be safe. A few hours later I came home with a patch on and a very very sore eye.

Dashiell spent the weekend saying "Mama, eyyeeeee? Eyeee? Mama, eyeee?" Terribly concerned with the whole thing, though luckily I doubt he realized that he in fact was the inflictor of my injury. The poor, sweet dear. They really are so sensitive, the little cavemen.

I spent the next day on the couch, mostly sleeping and trying not to move my eyes. But we did attempt to go out for dinner anyway, because I was desperate to get out of the house. And when you have the little ones, life must go on! Here we are enjoying pizza with a patch:

The moral? There really isn't one, except that it would have been infinitely more traumatic had Dashiell's eye been the one scratched. And for that I'm thankful that I took one for the team. Sometimes motherhood is a bit about suffering (ahem, no sleep!), but even when you are struggling, I've found that it's so very tolerable because you look down and there's this beautiful little creature that has made you into the person you are, poked eye and all.

They change us in ways we couldn't imagine, don't they?

Hello, baby Hunt! We from the internet are so happy to welcome you into this world! Congrats to Bridget and the entire Hunt family. May you all get out this without a scratched cornea among you.

And um, perhaps be more careful than I about letting the little caveman play with sticks.

first of all i would like to say hello to all of you dedicated bridget followers. she really is a gem, no? i am so excited for the hunt family and can't wait to read all about this baby boy, not to mention stare at his tiny toes! can't.wait. when bridget so kindly asked me if i would guest post i knew i wanted to share a funny story about being pregnant and in my last trimester. i was reminded of it the other day when i walked in to my daughter matilda's room to find her like this:

feet crossed, sitting on a table that used to be mine that we painted in stripes for her first birthday. holding her "soccer ball" with the ubiquitous "keep calm and carry on" poster crooked above her head (i can barely look at it now after seeing it so much but i did buy it pre-craze).

that poster was involved in a huge pregnancy meltdown. i had everything just so in matilda's room (i don't think it has ever looked as neat since) and the keep calm poster was the finishing touch. it was to be a reminder that no matter what came my way in my new role as a mother that i was to "keep calm and carry on." my brother was working in a frame shop and i asked him to have it matted. he called weeks after i had given him the poster to tell me he had remembered to take it in to have the mat cut. keep in mind that i was obsessing over this until he called. excited beyond words i drove to pick it up. i eagerly grabbed the poster to look it over and noticed that the mat was black. black. all of the blood rushed to my head and it was full on ugly cry. i'm not proud of this moment, but in my defense my feet had doubled in size, i was miserable at my current job, i had gained 10 pounds in that one week and dammit i wanted that poster to have a white mat.

matilda came in to the world a few short weeks later. i had never felt so powerful as i did the day she was born. i love that girl. the poster hasn't necessarily kept me calm but it has reminded me of how much i am NOT in control and that motherhood is such an adventure. i learn something new everyday about myself and my biggest prayers are that i'll be a good mother, that matilda will know how loved she is and that Lord help me... i can keep calm.
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bridget's note: you can find the fabulous lesley at homemade grits--i have loved her blog a long time... all sorts of creativity AND organic goodness happenin' over there.

My Mother Taught Me

There are a lot of things that mothers do.  They bake cupcakes for a big day, help out with science fair projects, go on field trips, remember important dates and all of your friends names, sew clothes and costumes and superman capes.

Well, my mom didn't do any of that.  In fact, she wasn't very conventional.  And yet, she managed to focus on the priorities.  She has given me a clear picture of just how big love can be.  Here are a few of the less-than-conventional lessons I have learned.

...that no matter what was for dinner, there was always room for one
more.

Growing up our house was full.  Sure we had four kids running around, but the "full" came from all of the extra folks.  Friends, cousins, grandparents, aunt, uncles, and co-workers were always welcome at our dinner table.  There was always room for one more.  This has probably had the most profound impact on my life today.  When Mark and I were first married, we lived near our college and frequently hosted the lacrosse teams for dinner.  Do you know how much food it takes to feed an entire lacrosse team?  We even hosted them down here in DC in our smaller than tiny apartment.  Today we live in an intern building and serve as RAs, frequently feeding college students once again.  And if you were to come over, you would see stocked cupboards that are equipped to feed an army, just in case I ever had the need.

...when throwing a party, go big but don't sweat the details.

I wish I could invite you all to a family party.  They are always a riot.  Half the town shows up and the "extras" are nothing short of fabulous.  Growing up, we were the kids whose parents rented moon bounces.  At some point during my sibling's high school years, my parents stumbled upon giant inflatable water slides {for a video click here}.  My mom is all about her guests having a good time.  With this influence, it should serve as no surprise that I have already begun researching renting a ball pit for Behr's first birthday {being a germ-a-phobe, I have also considered buying one and then trying to sell it post-party}. Regardless of what we end up doing, it is the fun that creates the memories.

...the job can wait, but kids won't.

Running a household with four kids {not quite five} is no small task, and yet my mom never sacrificed fun. It didn't take long for her to rearrange her focus, shove the dinning room table out of the way to make room for a giant plastic play house on a rainy day.  My mom truly cherished moments with us as kids.  Even to this day, my mom mops the kitchen floor at 2:00 in the morning.  She isn't worried about
someone walking on the wet floor, she just doesn't want to miss quality time with her kids or grandson to come at the expense of a chore.

...the bottom line: make fun.
My mom may not have been conventional, but she cultivated a fun-seeking childhood.  She put family first and helped us learn true priorities.  I will forever be grateful.

The Hunt house is adding another mouth to feed, but I am pretty certain that they too always have room for one more.  Bridget has shown us a bit of her parenting repertoire and she has got her game on.  From birthday breakfasts to some slip and slide action, have no fear little babe, your mom is a blast!

Let's hear from you.  What priorities did your mother instill in you?  What do you remember most?  What do you hope to pass on to your own children someday?

1/2/3

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a note from bridget: shannon is not only a blog friend but someone i know in person!  can you believe it?!  and... she's great.  now go find her yourself at the scribble pad.

and since you can't even see the beebeee stuck in the carrier (such a tease!) 

here's a few of little parker lately.

kind of a dreamboat, huh?

What I Didn't Expect When I Was Expecting

Hello Bridget fans! I'm Candis and I write a blog called lady lee in process. Bridget is my long time blog friend and I am happy to be guest posting for her while she settles in with her new little love. YAY! He is here! We are all so happy for you Bridge! We were both pregnant at the same time for a short while. I was several weeks ahead and gave birth to my son Westley at the end of April. Here are some photos of us right after he was born.

When I was pregnant I read a lot about labor, delivery, taking care of baby and the like but inevitably there are some things I missed so I decided to write a post on what I didn't expect things to be like after giving birth. Also, this is your TMI warning so if you don't want to hear about boobs, blood, or poop skip this one.

1. VISITORS: I didn't expect that we would need the first two or three weeks to ourselves. I am a social person and love being with people. But at this time, for me, visitors were overwhelming. I tried and tried to not let the stream of well-wishers push me over the edge because I realized they were visiting out of kindness and love, but honestly it was too much. The next baby we have I will let everyone know ahead of time that I love them so much and appreciate their wanting to visit but I will call them when we are all ready and that might be a few weeks from the time the baby is born. I think I'll have an auto reply email and voicemail set up as well. From what I have heard from other Moms after the fact, not everyone is this way, but most are. It must be the cocktail of extreme hormones, vagina pain, exhaustion, and the overwhelming urge I felt to bond with our baby and not pass him around all day long that made me feel this way. Not to mention the fact that I didn't feel like getting dressed for company (what will I wear over this huge, gelatinous belly?) or keeping the house clean. About 2 weeks in a I had a mini breakdown and realized I needed to put a short term stop on visitors. I got guilt tripped about it by some, and ended up guilt tripping myself as well, but now that I am out of the hormone haze and my va-jay-jay is mended I have the right mind to know that my instincts were correct and we needed intimate family time and there was nothing wrong with that.

2. POOPING: I didn't know that pooping would be such an issue. Ladies, it was borderline terrifying. I only tell you this because I wish someone would have prepared me. After giving birth drink LOTS of water, up your fruit and vegetable intake, and take some metamucil and dulcolax daily. I wish somoene would have given me all that advice BEFORE I was weeping on the toilet feeling like I was pooping razorblades.

3. BLOOD: I had no idea how much I would bleed the first few days after. It was A LOT. Like fill up a pad the size of your bed pillow a lot. I had no clue there would be that much blood. The bleeding continues for weeks after and it's a long process just to go pee for at least a month after that includes pads, squirt bottles, and sometimes even ice packs.

4. BABY LOVE: Because everyone tells you that you will love your child with a love you've never know the likes of before, I expected this. But goodness gracious, nothing can prepare you for the way it floods your whole being. I am not going to even try to put words to this love, I will just tell you that it will come and you will never be the same and I mean this in the best possible way.

5. PLEASED TO MEET YOU: Having a baby is loving someone and having an intense bond with a person that you don't even really know. I think I expected that I would know our baby inside and out because I carried him for 9 months, because I loved him so much. But the truth is you get to know them more and more everyday just like any other person. I think this may be what makes being a parent so magical and beautiful. Loving someone with such ferocity that you hardly know is amazing and the more you get to know them the more your love grows (which doesn't seem possible with how big it feels from the beginning, but it's true!).

6. CRYING: I didn't expect our baby to cry so very much. He cried a lot the first weeks of his life. If he wasn't sleeping or eating, he was crying. And sometimes he would take a break in the middle of eating to scream. After doing some research I learned most babies between birth and 6 weeks cry a lot and there are only a small percentage that don't. His cries induced such panic in my heart. Every fiber of my being would be screaming DO SOMETHING! HELP HIM! HE NEEDS YOU TO DO SOMETHING! And a lot of the time I felt helpless. The crying lessens, my friends. If you are in the thick of the crying right now know that it gets better. Know that you aren't alone. Know that your baby is just as sweet and wonderful as your friend's baby who seemed to never cry.

7. ATTACHMENT: I didn't expect that it would take me 2 months to be okay with having our baby sleep in his crib at night instead of the bassinet at my bedside. I was the girl that was all like, "We don't need a bassinet we'll just use the crib from day one." That all changed as soon as I saw his face. Honestly the first few weeks it was hard to not be in the same room as Westley. When we were in the hospital the first couple days after he was born I even hated when they would come to take him to the nursery for exams. I think it is because he was always with me everywhere I went and then all of a sudden he was outside of me in this big scary world and all I wanted to do was protect him.

8. HORMONES: I thought that the thrilling hormone roller coaster ride would be over after our baby was born. Boy was I wrong. Truly, the hormones I experienced during pregnancy were nothing compared to the first few weeks after Westley was born. The best advice I can give to women dealing with hormones after giving birth is to communicate. Talk to your partner and tell them your thoughts. Cry when you need to cry and give yourself the same grace you would give others. And some advice if you are friends with a postpartum woman, BE NICE TO THEM. No matter what. They are balancing a lot right now and need your love, support and grace. No judgement, no unkind words, and no selfishness allowed when it comes to how to treat a brand new Mama.

9. BODY: My tummy used to be flat and firm. I'm 11 weeks out and I still have a good amount of squish going on there and a faded brown line running down the middle. I had to buy my first one piece bathing suit because I realized I now have the type of body that people see on the beach in a two piece and say "Oooh no one wants to see that..." But the upside is the new suit is cute and when I'm  holding my beautiful baby in my arms the last thing on my mind is what I look like, and the first,  how very blessed I am.

10. HUSBAND LOVE: I didn't realize that having a baby would make me love my husband even more. He is the only person on this earth that loves Westley as much as I do. He is the only person I completely trust with Westley and vice-versa. It is something that only the two of us share, this intense love for this little being, and it has strengthened and deepened my connection to him and my love for him.

11. BREASTFEEDING: Truth be told I thought I might feel a little weird breastfeeding. But from his first time nursing just moments after he was born it has felt like the most natural thing I've ever done. And it's not weird. At all. It's probably the most amazing thing I've ever done for another person in my entire life. I love feeding Westley. I love staring into his eyes has he earnestly and happily nom nom noms on some milk. I love that his little body and brain are growing and that I am part of that. It is hard to not contemplate love and God and creation when you are nourishing another life with your own. It's beautiful.

So there you have it, 11 things I didn't expect when I was expecting. Got any to add to the list?

Hello!

Bridget and I became *friends* not long ago, but since the moment we *met* sparks flew! We knew that with our combined sarcasm, cockiness, and lack of time, we were perfect for each other. Well, here we are a few weeks later and Bridget has got her hands full with (adorable, I'm sure) teeny tiny, crying, pooping, wrinkly, wonderful ball of joy, and I couldn't be happier for her. New babies are the best aren't they? Yes! I don't think you'd be here, if you didn't love families and babies too ;)


I'm Drea, mama to wonderful, beautiful, and stubborn: Marlowe. Mama to shedding patient dog-beast: Jerry. And in a complicated, but very loving relationship with partner: Eric. (Here's a short version of the Eric story: Marlowe's dad? Not wonderful. Moved 1,200 miles away during my pregnancy. Eric? Totally amazing godsend, better friend, father, and partner than I ever could have imagined.)

When Bridget asked me to write a post relating to motherhood, she wasn't very specific on guidelines or details, I don't work well this way. I go into panic mode and think of all these *brilliant* stories and ideas to share with you, then I panic again and think to myself "Alright, I've got it! Picture of my kid with the caption underneath 'my kid is amazing' and that's it! Voila! Job is done!" Because, I mean, my kid is amazing.... extraordinary, probably the smartest kid alive, the most gorgeous for sure, hilarious, etc. etc..... but then again, so is everyone else's kid. That's part of what motherhood is. It's knowing that your child is the most amazing thing that has ever existed--- better than anything and everything that has come before or will come after. Motherhood is doing everything in your power to ensure you've got a warm home and unconditional love for your child, that awesome needy little thing. It's pretty great.

Everyone's mothering style is different. Our beliefs, our morals, our discipline is different. The way we show love is different. Our day to day parenting tasks are different. The way we organize our home to welcome a new addition is different.

For me it's:

breast-feeding.

organic vegan food, made at home.

baby-wearing.

occasional co-sleeping (though I am trying to wean this at the moment).
(attachment parenting too)

cloth diapering.

bringing my daughter into my life and showing her new places as often as I can.

And turning my house into a home-- a home that is enjoyable and pleasing for both of us (Jerry too).

Motherhood is different for everyone. Our mothering choices will always vary and work to fit in with our lifestyles. No matter how we do it, I think we can all agree: motherhood is amazing. And the most important thing you will ever do for you child is to make sure they feel unconditionally loved. I mean, your child is the most incredible thing to ever live, right? :)

Be sure to come come by ohdeardrea &say hello :) Twitter too! Oh, and if you have instagram, find me there (ohdeardrea), I'm totally addicted ;)