Welcome to my Italian villa.

Friday, September 16, 2011


I haven't done one of my pretend posts in quite some time.  Let's do one, shall we?  Push play.  The music will help this along.

This, my friends, is my villa on Lake Como.  It's pretty special, isn't it?  Yeah, we know.  We have a lot of really, really expensive chaise lounges on the lawn there.  You just can't see them from this angle.  But they were really expensive.  There's some vineyards along the shoreline too--the grapes are juicy and plump... year round!  I don't know how that happens!  We eat croissants every morning but we call them kwah-sants.  Who says krah-sants anyway?  Fools.  We drink water that has thinly sliced cucumbers and fresh mint in it.  Although sometimes the butler puts lemon and lime slices in it.  It's different every day.  Depending on what was fresh in the market that morning... we only want the freshest ingredients.  William and Lindsey are quickly becoming fluent in Italian because of their tutor and Parker is pretty much bilingual because he's grown up here.  Oh, and George Clooney comes by once in awhile to say hi.  And he brings us fresh bread.  And wine.  To be honest, he stops by a little too much but we feel badly telling him not to.  He seems to really like us, and we understand, so we allow it.  When we tire of the Lake Como scene, Steve calls in the private jet to take us for a little jaunt to Positano, or sometimes the French Riviera.  Whichever is less touristy because people stare at us a lot because we're super attractive and give off an heir of fame even though we're not technically famous.  But we should be.

A few past pretend posts: here and here.

29 comments:

  1. Poor George. You just put him in his place.

    Everett is diggin this music, btw.

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  2. i'll be your pretend houseguest that never leaves

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  3. What a fun pretend post - I think I might have to snag this idea...too cute.

    I will be your pretend houseguest, just as Nicole ;)

    Happy Friday!

    <3-Cami from First Day of My Life

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  4. Yes! I love this... especially the bilingual part and the private jet. And all fantasies need lemon slices. Nice touch.

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  5. Can I join you? I went to Lake Como in 2006 and fell in love. I could easily live there from tomorrow forward! I'll be Parker's nanny! ;)

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  6. @christa, really?? you're hired.

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  7. and then you invite all your bloggy friends to come visit for an indefinite period of time... ;]

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  8. @e, everett has good taste.

    @kaity, exACTly.

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  9. And the croissants are filled with chocolate sometimes, right?

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  10. @roxanne, always filled with chocolate. george brings that too.

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  11. Can I join too? I can drive there in one day :) Italy is so lovely..

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  12. poor george just gets so lonely in his bachelor pad. don't turn him away.

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  13. So the next time George drops in, you and Steve need to send your private jet over to the states, pick me up and bring me back so that George can (immediately) fall in love with me. Then we can all take trips to the Riviera together!

    Yes, that sounds perfect!

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  14. You have the best pretend life ever. I'm coming for a visit, okay?

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  15. More pretend posts please. Im giggling with amusement.

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  16. It's drizzling in Santa Barbara, and there's fog over the ocean. Madeleine Peyroux and visions of Italy are just what I need. Mmmm...

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  17. @anna, drizzling in sb?! i thought that never happened! is it wrong that im slightly happy? too bad ahn isn't there, i'd like to rub it in her face.

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  18. yes, please!
    (and another SB reader above! it is drizzly and cold here today... italy sounds much nicer!)

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  19. I love this idea of a pretend post! So much fun!!

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  20. I love this post. Thanks for making me laugh :)

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  21. try and rub it in...and then i'll remind you where i am currently.

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  22. I'm moving in.

    PLEEEEEEASE introduce me to George?! Please? ....please?

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  23. This, my friend, was hilarious.
    I'm wondering if Brad perhaps popped by with George at any time? If so, be a dear and pass along my digits k? K.

    Aaaah Italy. How I miss thee.

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  24. ahhhh i'm headed to lago di como this week.

    mind if i stop by? preferably when George is there ...

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  25. Gosh, you're hilarious! Love that post!
    Especially the part about George Clooney :)

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  26. the fact that 'Parker' is called 'Parker' just makes the story even better!ha!

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  27. Not going to lie, if someone was all, "I'm going to do pretend posts" I'd be all, "Lame blogger, LAME."
    But you know what's not lame? Imagining a life where George Clooney stops by packing carbs. Loooooove.

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  28. That's where George has been running off too. He was spending so much time at our villa and then all of a sudden he's been MIA. I'll admit our place doesn't have juicy plump grapes year round...sad.

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talk to me.

(also! if you have a question, check back as i usually answer it here!)

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