dear nathaniel, jordan, william, and lindsey (and gracie too),
remember this picture? just last summer. it was a sunny day, a good day. we were all fresh and clean and looking our sunday best for some family pictures. some of you might’ve thought the whole thing was a little silly but you went along with it for my sake. thanks. i’m sooo glad we have these pictures. i’d really like pictures like this every other month but i don’t think i can talk you guys into getting them that often, ha. anyway, only a few months later, your dad and i found out we’d be adding to our family and now we are a mere weeks from meeting this new addition. it’s crazy how fast time goes. i just wanted to say a few things before i forget them… before i’m neck-deep in the breastfeeding and diapering world that a newborn baby quickly brings. i love you guys. i really love you guys. i can be bad at showing it and a part of me fears that when i’m really tired and cranky from a sleepless night, i will be even worse at showing it. you guys have been so good at showing me you love me since your dad and i married almost five years ago. you welcomed me into your family effortlessly even though there was probably a part of you that was afraid my presence would diminish the memory of your mom. has it? i hope not. she was a really special woman and i hope you know that i could never take her place nor would i want to. i think you know this. and what i find so remarkable is that you never made me feel second best to her. you never made me feel like i didn’t belong. if i ever felt i didn’t belong, it was my own doing. i’m glad to be beyond that stage. for a long time now, it’s just felt comfortable. like we’re the six hunts and we all belong in this yellow house of ours eating dinner together, listening to music, and playing cards. we’re going to be seven hunts soon and i don’t ever want to make you feel second best. if i do, please tell me. cause you’re not, you’ll never be. they say a mother’s love has an ability to grow bigger with each child they have. that’s what i think will happen. this baby, your baby brother, will be loved lots. but so will you. every day, every minute. even when i’m tired or sleeping or feeding the baby, i’ll still be loving you too. don’t forget that.
mom / bridget