a letter to the bachelor girls, part 2.

last week's was a hit and i loved reading your comments.  clearly, i'm not the only obsessed one.

once again, let's pretend the show's not over and that they read my blog, blah blah blah... here goes.

ashley, so you're still here.  well, you or shawntel will go next week, i'm pretty sure.  and i haven't been a huge fan of you but i kind of liked you this episode and also thought you rocked the sports illustrated shoot.  

britt, jump off the damn rock.  geez.  and, you really do seem like a nice girl, but meh, this venue's not for you (obviously).  and how is it that america always sees the rejection coming before the girl ON THE SHOW?  'well, brit, you are a great woman and today's been fun...'   'i know!  i loved it!'    'well, brit... there's a but...'  it's painful.

chantal, you cry too much.  but, in your defense, if you do in fact love this guy as you say you do, it would royally suuuuck to watch him macking on other girls so i don't blame you for being pissy at the group date.  but, if the spoilers are true, you go home with him in the end.  after the group date when you walked to the ocean my husband said 'and this is the episode where she drowns herself' -- glad you didn't b/c i really think brad likes ya.

emily, apparently your date was great but abc didn't show us a whole lot of substance there.  i think you still need to open up more.  and for reals, we're going to base your relationship off how a 5 year old feels about brad?!  5 year olds are shy, silly, and different based on their whim of the day.  don't let the commercials for next week be true--your "worst nightmare" is coming true b/c your little girl is acting awkward around brad?!  come on.

michelle, ding dong the witch is dead.  j/k j/k.  i see that most of your craziness was light hearted and humorous (i think) but why didn't you talk to him before you went?  and why didn't you talk in the limo?  give america something to write home (or on their blogs) about!!!  i am more convinced that this was all an act by your departure but i guess we'll have to wait for 'after the final rose' duh duh duhhhhh.  oh yeah, and you miiiight've been voted off cause you lick your lips too much.  goodness gracious i think i counted about 6 times while you talked on the balcony at the group date.

shawntel, still like you and your style.  not sure he's that crazy about you though.  but if you get voted off we can be friends?  i'm not that freaked out by the whole funeral director thing.  but maybe you could downplay it a bit?

and that's all for now, folks.  thoughts?

*footnote: brad/abc, enough with the helicopters.


  1. First of all, I'm sick of people on The Bachelor jumping off of high places and acting like it represents the leap of faith in their relationship.

    And as for the Emily previews of next week, I had the same reaction as you. I'm used to having a whole classroom of 5 year olds, and you certainly never know what their mood is going to be. I can totally understand ending the relationship if there is a lasting problem between the guy and the kid.. but the first meeting? Come on. She needs to look at how he's interacting and reacting to her, not how the child is acting.

    And... I'm done.

  2. Haha I love it. Never heard about the spoilers and picking Chantal. I actually heard it was someone else! Where do you get your information? Now I am freaking out! I never noticed Michelle licking her lips, I will have to re watch the episode just for that!

  3. Dear Brad, I don't want to hear about your "intense physical attraction" to Michelle, just send her home and try not to lose too much sleep asking why you didn't do that weeks ago. You'll have time to do that post- funeral home. Trust us.

  4. I don't even need to watch The Bachelor. Reading your commentary is WAY better haha!

  5. Seriously, the helicopters have got to go. I mean, can't ABC hire an elephant or get the batman car or take the girls in apollo one hundred and sixty four?? They would be soo impressed if Brad planned a date to the moon just for them.

    And yeah, the Brit thing was totally painful. Poor girl.

  6. husband has been watching with me. First thing he said was last night, was "thank goodness Michille is gone...now I can stop watching!" Cracked me up. He just couldn't stand listening to her and I don't blame him. I kept expecting to see her holding a carving knife over one of the other girls. She was crazy!!!!

    I really think it is going to be Chantal.

    But I wish it was Emily!

  7. I'm seriously loving your rose recap.
    My 2 cents- did Michelle really have to go? I thought of her more as the court jester to the viewer. She spiced things up.
    And for heaven's sake Chris, when there's only one rose left it's CLEARLY the last rose.

  8. Ha I love this! I found last night's episode quite entertaining and of course a bit painful with the Brit thing. It will be interesting to see Michelle at after the final rose. I too was quite annoyed seeing the preview of next week's episode with Emily seeming to be quite freaked out with her Daughter's reaction to Brad. Let's hope it's not true!

  9. okay, so i have a confession: i don't watch the bachelor. having said that, i love your recaps. you're so funny, bridget. you make me laugh. :)

  10. "Don't send me home." "Don't send me home, Brad." "Please don't"- We get it Ashley- you don't want to go home during ANY episode.

  11. Haha! Michelle cracks me up. Seriously- does she know how she acts?

  12. I really liked Ashley on the last episode, she really rocked the Sports Ill. Shoot, she's so cute!
    But Emily is my favorite, even though I feel like her Brad don't really connect, but hopefully it works out!
    I can't wait for next Monday when they meet the families!

  13. i honestly think michelle was acting the whole time. she kept trying to make herself cry. ha! i loved her, she'll be missed.

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  15. If I were on the show (assuming I wasn't already married to my Drew Jones) I would be the girl that at the end of the date with Brad that is like...

    "Yeah, I'm just not that into you, lets finish his nice dinner so I can pack up and go home"

    It's always weird to me that THAT many girls can THINK they want to be with this man in a serious way. You know what I mean?

    Brad, you just don't do it for me.

    Also - So glad Michelle went home. What a strange manipulative bird she was.

  16. "michelle, ding dong the witch is dead."

    haha- true story, as soon as she got voted off I tweeted "ding dong the witch is dead". Great minds think alike?!

  17. @bethany, great minds DO think alike!

  18. I love reading these posts after the show because its like your reading my mind. I read through going "yep...yep... my thoughts exactly!" Its like your saying what we are all thinking :]

  19. Love this!! And I could not agree more!

  20. i agree with everything you said.. michelle was funny and it did seem odd the way she didn't talk to him or us once she was booted. also she did always lick her lips. ugh.
    as for emily she is beautiful but i don't see much of a connection with them and at the end of the day you need more substance to last.
    as for shawntel, i think brad likes the idea of her and her down to earth attitude but i think in the end they don't mesh.
    i think its between chantal the one who cries way too much or emily. fun post!

  21. I love this post! I know I'm so many days late but I love it! I was SO happy when he sent Michelle packing! :)

  22. Yes. Enough with the helicopters, already. & thank goodness Michelle is gone. Yuck.


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